Game Review: I tried romancing Colonel Sanders in a dating sim and it turned me off KFC forever

With a habit of breaking out from a normcore brand identity, KFC often takes its "finger-lickin' good" slogan to new extremes by creating weird concoctions, ranging from its line of KFC-scented candles to a chicken wings box that transforms into a drone.

In yet another addition to KFC's kooky campaigns, the fast-food chain released their take on a Japanese dating simulation game on Sep 24. It's appropriately titled I Love You, Colonel Sanders! A Finger-Lickin' Good Dating Simulator (ILYCS). 

In cased you haven't played one before, romances in dating simulations are, more often than not, just straightforward love stories with multiple endings. At the end of the day, we all love a happy ending after all. There's Mystic Messenger, a well-written mobile phone game that allows you to fall in love with a bunch of handsome dudes through a popular messaging app. There's also Hatoful Boyfriend, a parody of the niche genre that lets you seduce partners... who happen to be pigeons. 

[[nid:461212]]

Developed by creative agency Psyop, ILYCS elicited mixed reactions — reactions that are nearly similar to most of KFC's millennial-focused marketing stunts, as per Polygon. No surprise there. 

When it comes to the game's style, it is a bizarre burlesque of a typical Japanese dating simulator, where players pursue the character of your choosing through smart conversation. However, being a supposedly romantic comedy, the game just becomes a bore from the lack of good jokes and compelling characters you can really feel for.

We clocked in two hours to complete it, despite KFC promising multiple hours of play-through on the game's Steam page. 

Predictably, the focus of the game has been turned to Colonel Sanders — or rather, a young hunky version of the fried-chicken chain's iconic ambassador. You, the player-character, are tasked with winning his heart.

You'll have to walk your way through three days at a prestigious culinary school (the University of Cooking School, how droll) with Colonel Sanders and a bunch of secondary characters, which are completely conventional anime archetypes. There's Aeshleigh, your rival who is conceited and mean.

There's your BFF, Miriam, who is overly hyperactive and enthusiastic.

There's Colonel Sanders himself who is a handsome and elegant bishonen, a mysterious pretty boy.

There's also your professor, who just happens to be a corgi named Professor Dog aka Sprinkles. Boy, now I've seen everything.

In order to woo the Colonel successfully, you will have to select the right dialogue options when you are presented with them. Wrong choices could just cause you to lose the game and take you back to the previous point. This sets the game apart from most dating simulators, where you are still able to go on with the game and face the consequences of your interactions. 

Nothing really makes much sense and whatever logic there is within the game, it only applies when it comes to your romance with Colonel Sanders (for obvious reasons, the best possible options would tend to lean towards anything KFC-related).

Through the three days of culinary training in a visual novel style, various mini-challenges had been included to spice up the game. This includes includes a timed quiz (which you're just bound to lose no matter what) and a turned-based fight against a mouldy spork monster.

Despite ILYCS's best efforts, it is still not dynamic enough to retain the players' attention throughout the gameplay. There was just a lack of actual gaming substance — so much so that it doesn't even feel like an interactive experience at all. 

It really is just a brief, sorta wacky experience that makes for an interesting anecdote to tell your IRL friends. From attempting to kiss the KFC mascot to graduating alongside him, to failing in becoming his business partner in the play-through. In the end, all our efforts amounted to is just a coupon to an in-game restaurant. Thanks for nothing, Sanders Senpai.

But! The game is currently free on Steam, so no matter if it's finger-lickin' good or not, ILYCS deserves a try at least. 

mabelkhoo@asiaone.com