'I was becoming a caricature of myself': Tosh Zhang on becoming fatigued by social media

"Please stop comparing your life to what you see on social media."

When you head to Tosh Zhang's Instagram page, you'll see the 34-year-old actor-musician living the high life — attending parties for brands like YSL Beauty and Coach and promoting his music and live performances.

But among the glitz and glamour, one post warns of the pitfalls of social media.

Back in June, Tosh shared in white text on a black background: "I've been doing this long enough to know that none of this social media ish is truly real so do not believe the hype or facade".

He also urged people to take a "disciplined break" if social media is negatively affecting their self-esteem or mental health.

[embed]https://www.instagram.com/p/CtYsYs6vDql/[/embed]

In a recent interview with AsiaOne, Tosh explained that he used to be "caught up" in social media and would post something every day.

"I was just chasing that dopamine hit of more followers, more engagement, more everything and I wanted to be seen constantly on trending pages," he said. "But after a while, I realised that it wasn't making me happy and I was becoming a caricature of myself."

[[nid:651007]]

He could turn on his cool Tosh Rock persona — the moniker he uses in his music and online — for people to see but realised that it wasn't really him, and also found himself comparing his life to what was shared by other public figures.

"They are constantly doing new things all over the world. Am I not relevant anymore?" he would think.

Compared to the past, where he would "post every single thing that was happening" in his life, Tosh mostly makes Instagram posts for work now, alongside the occasional post sharing his thoughts.

The post about the negative aspects of social media was a way for him to "pull back the curtain a little bit" to let people know that social media isn't "all real".

"I was super fatigued just being in the industry," he said. "I think, initially, I really enjoyed fame. But it's poison at the same time."

Stepping away from social media has made Tosh become more "at peace" with himself, and he no longer cares about losing followers or not getting enough engagement on his posts.

"Now I just care about how I'm doing in real life, how the people I love are doing and spending time with my dog."

Drawing inspiration from visiting family member in hospital

Tosh became a household name after playing Sergeant Alex Ong in the Jack Neo movie Ah Boys to Men (2012) and its sequels between 2013 and 2017.

His last movie appearance was in 2019's So Bright 2, but Tosh is returning to the big screen with the upcoming movie Good Goodbye, made up of three interconnected stories discussing death, dying and palliative care in Singapore.

"I basically play a healthcare worker in a hospice who is suffering from compassion fatigue," he said. "It is something that a lot of people in the healthcare industry go through, because they have vicarious trauma from seeing people in pain, people in sorrow and passing away.

"Over time, it affects them mentally and emotionally to be attached to the people they care for. So, I'm playing a character that has kind of lost his passion for caring for patients, and Julie (Tan) is a volunteer who appears at the hospice to help patients and then she kind of reignites my passion."

He took on the role due to its "layered" nature, as it was something different from Sergeant Ong and his music persona.

[embed]https://www.instagram.com/p/CzbJ8c6PKMP/[/embed]

Tosh also has a family member who has been hospitalised long-term and told us that he drew inspiration from the healthcare workers he has encountered while visiting him.

"You can see the ones who are more caring and they show more concern about the patient beyond just medical care on a personal basis, and you also see the ones that are just going through the motions," he said.

"Just by constantly being in that environment and visiting my family member, it takes a toll, so I'm drawing from that experience."

Good Goodbye began filming recently after a lensing ceremony on Nov 9.

[[nid:658325]]

But shooting a new movie doesn't mean Tosh has put a pause on his music.

"I just returned from Japan in October, because I went there for a couple of weeks to film a new music video," he said.

The new track is a Mandarin hip-hop song called Lately, he shared, though he didn't tell us its release date.

"And coincidentally, it's also about healing."

Good Goodbye also stars Shane Pow, Yang Shi Bin, Teo Ser Lee, Andie Chen and Aster Yeow, and is set to be released in 2024.

[[nid:657401]]

drimac@asiaone.com

No part of this article can be reproduced without permission from AsiaOne.