'I can only guide them from the side': Florence Tan on being 'co-driver' in teenage daughters' lives
Florence Tan with her twin daughters Novea and Viola.
PHOTO: Instagram/Florence Tan
PUBLISHED ONDecember 11, 2023 5:27 AMByYeo Shu HuiOne night in around 2009, when ex-Mediacorp actress Florence Tan's twin daughters were about a year old, she saw a heartwarming interaction between her husband and one of the girls.
"In the dimly-lit room, I saw my husband sitting at the bedside and explaining the benefits of eating medicine to my daughter. He told her, 'You must eat your medicine, because it can kill germs. You have a runny nose now because there's a virus.' They chatted for about an hour and she ate it after that," the 46-year-old shared with AsiaOne in an interview recently.
While you may think this is what any other parent would do, for Florence, who revealed that her mother force-fed medicine to her when she was young and ill, it was a realisation.
"I came to understand that children do not have to be force-fed medicine. We can actually explain clearly to them, live together peacefully and speak nicely to each other," she said.
'I left it to them'
Florence, whose 15-year-old daughters Novea and Viola are currently studying in Hong Kong, shared that she gets along with them just like friends.
Besides sharing that they are naturally well-behaved and she had been able to travel alone with them since they were two years old, Florence added that she doesn't force them to do things, but instead nurtures their interests, such as playing the piano.
"When they first started learning the piano, it was a difficult process because they didn't know how to play it… I would get them to play the piano for five minutes after dinner.
"It was only after grade 7 that they played for longer, otherwise they would just practise for five minutes every day. Whether they want to participate in the exams, music festivals or other related things, I left it to them," she said, adding that the twins have since completed grade 8 and are now pursuing a piano diploma.
'I can only guide them from the side'
Florence also shared that she discussed with her daughters about getting into romantic relationships and encouraged them to do so only when they are in university.
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She said: "My daughters told me that some of their classmates have been in a relationship since they were in primary school. So I analysed for them the effects of being in a relationship. I think it is hard to prevent it these days because they all have mobile phones now. They don't even have to tell you, they could just tell you they are going for tuition.
"Once they are in a relationship, they may become fully devoted to it and one small matter may affect their emotions and performances in their studies and exams."
She also told her daughters about the possibilities on the other end of the spectrum, such as teenage pregnancy and starting a different life as compared to other life chances they could have.
Regarding parenthood, Florence said: "I feel that parents are like co-drivers in their children's lives, because our children's lives belong to them and they are their own drivers of their lives. I can only guide them from the side."
Studying for degree is stressful but fulfilling
Besides sharing more about the Chinese drama The White Olive Tree, her first in three years, that she is currently filming, Florence also talked about the other interests she pursued during the pandemic, such as Latin dance. She explained that only dance studios were open then.
"Dancing uplifts my mood and I feel healthier. I also love music because it brightens up my mood," she added.
In addition, Florence is also studying for a degree in health sciences at the University of the People, which she started in September 2020 and has about a year left before graduation.
When asked why she chose this particular focus, she shared: "I used to study accounting in Malaysia, I don't find it helpful now and wanted to pursue other things, such as health sciences, which I am interested in."
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With six assignments to complete each week, Florence said that the course has been stressful for her. However, it is still a fulfilling experience and she hopes to share more about what she has learnt through her social media posts in the future.
"I am interested in beauty and healthcare, so I would focus more on these areas… Sometimes when my mum has pains, I would analyse for her and advise her how to change. Actually, those who have benefited the most are our family members," she added.
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