Class 95 DJ Vernon A on parenting a toddler at 48 and getting ready for another baby

In about two weeks, Class 95 DJ Vernon A and his wife Jayne Tham will welcome their second baby.

While parenting is not something completely new to the radio jock — being a third-time dad this time around, Vernon said there are still instances where he faces the same struggles experienced by other new dads.

To be fair, Vernon’s first parenting experience was some 17 years ago, with his first child from his previous marriage.

So now that he is about to be a dad again, we caught up with the radio jock and Jayne to find out how their first year of parenting their first son Liam was like, and how they are preparing for the arrival of their second child.

Taking care of a toddler while getting ready for another baby

Getting ready for a baby in the middle of a pandemic may seem like nothing but a daunting task for many, but for the Muttons DJ, prepping for the arrival of the newest addition to their family comes with a mix of many feelings.

Vernon shared that it was right at the start of Singapore’s circuit breaker when they found out that his wife is pregnant. And while that is not a simple feat already, he also revealed that this pregnancy was not planned and that he “never expected [Jayne] to get pregnant again”.

The 46-year-old dad admitted that getting ready for a baby is a lot more challenging when you also have to attend to another little child.

“There are many challenges. He’s a challenging kid!” Vernon quipped. “He is full of energy. And the whole period of being stuck at home didn’t help because it was quite a challenge to keep [Liam] entertained.

“While letting him watch TV works for short periods of time, for the rest of the time, [we] also want to engage him and play with him. So we got him a lot of books, a lot of puzzle games so that he can sort of learn something while playing.”

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But the challenges aren’t just about juggling parenting and pregnancy. For Vernon’s wife, this pregnancy is “very different, circuit breaker or no circuit breaker”.

“The symptoms all were very different, so much so that I thought we were gonna have a girl,” Jayne shared.

“With Liam, it was generally quite easy. But for this time around, it was quite tough. I had a lot of backaches, which I didn’t experience much with Liam. I also had morning sickness as well.”

The marketing manager and social media influencer also talked about her cravings brought about by the morning sickness.

This, according to Vernon, was not only challenging for his wife but also for himself.

“As a husband, you sometimes feel a bit helpless because you really can’t do anything. Especially with the morning sickness," said Vernon. “All I can do was ensure that I was ready to jump in and do anything she wanted.”

Despite all this, Vernon said they still do all the housework and take care of their son on their own. The couple manages their household without a helper, even now that they are expecting baby No. 2.

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Vernon, who co-hosts Muttons In the Morning on Class 95, takes the “nighttime shift” in taking care of Liam, while his wife takes on the daytime, when the radio host is out for work.

“We’re not [very] busy people. If you talk about like housework and stuff like that, we can still manage. We don’t live in a giant mansion so it’s still manageable.”

According to Vernon, managing without a helper is a matter of working as a team. “We have to have each other’s backs. Sometimes, I’ll take the big one, she’ll take the small one.”

Vernon, however, admits to wanting to have some “me-time” once in a while and “wish [there is] someone to just carry [Liam] and entertain him.” But while having a helper isn’t something they consider at the moment, he said: “Maybe further on in the future when we really [need a helper], it could be a possibility.”

Another baby boy

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While it may seem that they just recently announced the birth of their firstborn, Liam is now about a year and 10 months, and according to Jayne, time “flew by so quickly.”

“We hear this phrase all the time, ‘the days are short but the years are long’, and it’s so true,” Jayne said. “Sometimes I look back and realise that Liam is no longer a newborn, and very quickly, has become a big boy now.”

Liam is also about to become a big brother to his didi (younger brother).

The couple announced that they are expecting another baby boy, through a post on Instagram in August.

Vernon said he hopes that “number two is the same as [Liam].”

“Funny enough, during the first few months, [Liam] was actually quite easy to handle. He didn’t make too much a fuss. He didn’t cry a lot,” Vernon shared, adding that Liam also started sleeping through the night at six months. “If we could do it the first time for six months, waking up for the midnight feeds, and early morning feeds, I think we can do it again lah,“ Vernon teased.

The couple also shared how they are preparing Liam for the arrival of his little brother.

This is quite the opposite of what many would expect after seeing the pregnancy announcement video Jayne shared on Instagram in June, where Liam is seen crying and throwing away Jayne’s sonogram. The clip was wittily captioned: “What do you mean I have to share my toys with someone new?!”

“Every day we would talk to him and we’ll say that he has a didi who’s coming. He can say the word baby so he understands what a baby is,” said Jayne. “And every night when we put him to bed, we ask him, ‘where is the baby?’, ‘can you kiss the baby?’, and he will really kiss my belly and he’ll gently pat my belly. He’s quite sweet about it.”

“For now,” Vernon butted in, laughing.

“For now. Hopefully, he understands and he takes it well with the little one when he’s here,” Jayne added.

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Meanwhile, when asked if they will be trying for a baby girl after this, Vernon said: “The idea of having a girl is really nice. But I think it’s a family curse. My entire family is made up of all boys. Even my parents wanted a girl and they tried and tried but they ended up with three boys. So I think I can take a cue from that and stop right here because I don’t think a girl is in the cards for us.”

“Never say never but for now, the idea is no, we’re done. Two boys,” Vernon added.

Vernon and Jayne are expected to welcome their second baby boy — whom they have already named Niall — in December.

Congratulations!

This article was first published in theAsianparent.