'Do men always have an agenda?' Zoe Tay questions Guo Liang on why men and women can't be just friends

Can men and women ever really just be friends?

Radio DJ Hazelle Teo brought up the age-old question on the latest episode of The Zoe and Liang Show, hosted by Zoe Tay and Guo Liang, and responses were split.

When Zoe, Hazelle and their other guest, radio DJ Jensen Wang, confidently said yes, Guo Liang couldn't help but laugh.

The 54-year-old said: "I've noticed an interesting phenomenon. Usually, women are the ones who can't wait to say, 'Yes, absolutely,' while men tend to be slower to agree.

"Because men will wonder, haven't they thought about going after their good female friends? Is it because they haven't had the chance?

"If both parties are compatible in every way, I'd be very doubtful that there's a pure friendship between them."

Zoe disagreed, citing her own friendships with actors Chen Hanwei and Wang Yuqing from when they were younger and single.

"When I was friends with Yuqing, he was really handsome and popular," said the 55-year-old. "We were compatible in many ways, but there was no romantic chemistry between us at all.

"Even though we were both single, things could never work out between us."

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Guo Liang suggested that a "pure friendship" really meant that both parties didn't know what the other was actually thinking about.

Zoe retorted: "Do men always have an agenda when they make friends with a woman?

"Do you always have a motive? Are you confident that you can develop a romantic relationship with a woman before you make a move?"

Jensen admitted: "I think they do. For young men, if they take the initiative to talk to a girl and make friends with her, it's often when they have some feelings for her."

Guo Liang continued: "Let me add to that, I agree, and those feelings are sexual to some extent."

"So men always have an agenda?" Zoe repeated.

Guo Liang admitted that there could be another scenario where a man has no feelings for a woman, and doesn't make a move, but could admire other aspects of her, like her work ethic.

"It seems women have less of an agenda when we make friends with men." Hazelle, 29, concluded. "You can talk if you get along well."

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Zoe and Guo Liang agreed that women could be "more sentimental" and "more about feelings".

"Men are only about sex," joked Guo Liang.

Jensen, 27, disagreed and said that, while men sometimes have an agenda when they meet a beautiful woman, he personally doesn't just talk to women with an agenda in mind.

He added that even if he took the initiative to talk to a woman every day of the week, there could be purely friendship on his mind.

"I must say this, I think when I talk to someone, especially a woman, I often develop feelings," Jensen said. "But I'd think whether these feelings would be enough for me to get to the next stage."

'Would you rather be the official partner or the other party?'

The main topic of discussion on this episode of The Zoe and Liang Show was about cheating and other "taboo relationships".

Hazelle asked: "Would you rather be the official partner or the other party?

"It would feel quite free to be the other party, you can spend money and face no pressure."

Guo Liang responded: "The official partner of this hypothetical man faces non-stop challenges. You could practise yoga, get facials and take good care of your hair, but you can't fight ageing.

"There will always be younger contenders."

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If you're the other party, Guo Liang explained, you have less worry as your lover will always go home to their official partner.

"You'd have a definite source of pain that's the official partner, but the official partner doesn't even know who'll bring them misery," he concluded.

"There may be multiple parties, and they don't even know each other," Hazelle agreed.

Regardless, she said she would rather be the "official partner" for someone as she would have nothing to hide and could live in "broad daylight". Additionally, she would not have a guilty conscience about being a homewrecker.

Jensen provided an alternate arrangement from when he was a home tutor. He would visit a household where the wife and mistresses all lived under the same roof and knew about one another, but didn't interact.

"I also have a friend, who hasn't gotten married, but both parties have agreed, 'If you don't think I can satisfy you in bed, you can go to another person'," he added.

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"For a threesome?" Zoe suggested.

"Not a threesome, they could each get another partner. For example, if you like something that I can't offer, you could go to someone else for it. They'll allow each other to see someone else," Jensen said.

That's not to say he didn't have friends who engaged in threesomes either.

"A friend of mine joined a couple for a threesome, a couple who had been together for six or seven years, but the sense of novelty had started to wear off between them," he said.

"They still loved each other, but wanted a third person to make up for that novelty. Not just novelty in a sexual relationship, but also novelty in a spiritual relationship. They thought they needed someone to join them."

Guo Liang asked the all-important question: "Was it two women and one man or two men and one woman?"

Jensen confirmed it was the latter, to a bewildered "wow" from Zoe.

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drimac@asiaone.com

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