Elvin Ng tearfully recounts how he couldn't grieve over his father's death until 4 months later because of work

The death of a parent is one of the most tragic events one can experience.

But imagine not being able to properly grieve for your father for months? Well, local celebrity Elvin Ng shared his first-hand account on the latest episode of meWATCH talkshow Hear U Out and it was a tearjerker.

The 39-year-old actor recounted to host Quan Yi Fong one of the darkest periods of his life where he had to grapple with both his dad's passing and work.

It was in 2012, and on his first day shooting a new project, he received a call from his sister about his dad being hospitalised for heart problems. It was purely by fate that he had his phone with him at that time, as the scene required the gadget. 

Elvin shuttled between the set and the hospital for the next four days.

He said: "I had to leave for work two hours before his surgery. I didn't tell him 'bye bye'. I told him, 'Dad, I'm going to work.' That's all, and I didn't get to see him as he was wheeled [into the operating theatre]."

The operation took 20 hours and Elvin's father made it through. However, due to a possible inflammation, he didn't wake up. It was only until the whole "village", including his aunts, had gathered that his father regain consciousness. "He really loved his family," Elvin said.

He added: "My father suddenly woke up for about more than a minute, but he was struggling. He couldn't recognise me or anyone. He just opened his eyes and then he was gone."

Though Elvin got some time off for his father's wake (which lasted a week), he had to return to filming the day after Mr Ng was buried. His work days were also longer, from 7am to 1am, to make up for the lost time. As a result, Elvin was unable to seek solace in his family and be with them.

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It was a very tiring time for him, and whenever he reached home, his family would be asleep. 

"Seeing my family together made me want to be with them and to sort out my emotions, because I had been busy and [my mind] was blank. I still hadn't accepted what happened. But I couldn't [be with them]. So I let them be, while I was at a corner reading my scripts," he confessed.

On the third day after he resumed his shoot, he had a breakdown.

"I called the producer and said I wasn't feeling good. I asked if they could give me about 30 minutes to an hour. I just wanted to hide in a corner right now and not leave," he explained.

After filming wrapped two months later, he brought his mum on a trip to Europe to spend time with her. But Elvin only dealt with his own emotions around four months after his father's death.

"After everything, when I had a break, I went to the beach, and under a starry night sky, I laid there and tears started flowing. I didn't know I was crying, but the tears just kept flowing."

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bryanlim@asiaone.com