‘I was home drinking by myself every day’: Jackson Wang tells Eric Nam about his mental health crisis

Doing the same thing for almost a decade can be draining for anyone, and even K-pop idols are no exception.

In a YouTube video uploaded on Nov 15, Korean American singer Eric Nam invited his “little brother” Jackson Wang on his Daebak Show for a chat and drinks, and the conversation got serious after a round of liquid buffet and lighthearted bantering.

“You briefly mentioned that for a year, year-and-a-half, you had a really hard time — you had a breakdown of sorts,” Eric mentioned, asking Jackson what got him to that point.

“Being in the industry for eight, nine years, at that point I was lost,” Jackson, 28, confessed. 

“Everything felt like a loop. Every person that I met, every word that they’d say to me, everything was like deja vu — not deja vu, but a loop.”

“So everything felt the same,” Eric, 34, suggested.

Jackson, who was born in Hong Kong, made his debut in 2014 with seven-member K-pop boy band Got7, formed by JYP Entertainment. Following the end of their contracts in 2021, the idols have been largely focused on their solo careers.

Jackson said he “dropped everything” and isolated himself from everyone, including his management.

“I was home, I was drinking by myself every day to a time that I couldn’t breathe,” he said, “And I told my team to just stop talking to me.”

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At that point, he felt that the “business” his management was bringing to him wasn’t true to himself.

He elaborated: “They’re making whatever you have as a product to show the world. Stuff like that got my brain… I was lost, I lost my mind.”

He told his management to stop talking to him and “let me be me”.

He recalled that he always used to be “in a rush” during the production of his music and performances, and for the first time, he wanted to take his time.

“Let me take this time outside of this loop and let me try to meet myself for the first time,” he said.

He added: “I cut all my relationships with other people, I was just by myself — drinking, writing, thinking, and just creating.”

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A year-and-a-half later, he had his Magic Man album to show, released earlier this year on Sept 9.

There were two things that helped Jackson come out of his rut, he told Eric.

Firstly, it was the realisation that he didn’t need to suffer alone.

“When I’m stressed out and going through something, I’m not a person who would want to talk to anybody,” he said. “But for the first time, talking to my producer and stylist, stuff that they said I felt meant something.

“I felt, ‘Why am I blocking my whole life? Why am I trying to seek for solutions myself, why am I afraid to say I’m not okay?’”

The second thing was the acceptance of “I started with nothing and I’m not afraid to lose everything”.

“At least every single day I want to live like myself,” he admitted. “Be honest to myself, be honest to the audience, making sure that this is the real me, not what they think I am.

“It was as simple as that, but that just changed me in some way.”

He is still recovering from his mental health crisis, admitted Jackson, who said in a tweet today (Nov 21) that he will be flying to Thailand tonight for his Magic Man world tour. 

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ALSO READ: Jackson Wang Singapore concert tickets: VIP package includes solo photo op and soundcheck access

drimac@asiaone.com

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