‘How did they do it?’ Tasha Low realised she had to leave K-pop industry after singer’s suicide

If you were riding the Hallyu wave in the early 2010s, you may remember the K-pop girl group Skarf. 

While they never reached the popularity of mainstream idol groups, between 2012 and 2014, Singaporeans could feel a huge sense of pride for having two locals — Tasha Low and Ferlyn Wong — in K-pop.

While making your debut in Asia’s glitziest music scene might seem like a dream come true, reality was very harsh for Tasha. 

Five years after she moved to Seoul as a trainee, she found herself without purpose and an agency. Her first agency ran out of funds after two years and “sold” her to another agency. Tasha then spent another three years as a trainee in the second agency, ending her contract there without another group debut.

The turning point came when she saw the news of a K-pop singer who had committed suicide.

“When I read the news, my first thought was, ‘How did they do it?’” the 29-year-old recalled to host Quan Yi Fong on the latest episode of meWATCH talk show Hear U Out.

Tasha realised then she had thoughts of suicide as well and that she was “in an unhealthy state”.

She added: “I felt that if I had gone on in that way, something would really have happened to me.”

While she didn’t reveal who the singer was, Kim Jong-hyun of the hugely popular boy band Shinee killed himself in December 2017. 

Tasha returned to Singapore in early 2018 and vowed not to work in showbiz again. With a friend’s recommendation, she met the Korean boss of a food company and took on the position of a sales manager.

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“You finally earned your first salary in your life!” Yi Fong, 48, exclaimed. 

Tasha had not been paid while she was in Seoul. In her new job, she earned a steady $5,000 a month.

“But after having a full-time job, I felt that showbiz wasn’t too bad,” she laughed.

She left her sales job after eight months, and after auditioning for a Jack Neo movie, realised she much preferred the local showbiz industry.

“The production crews in Singapore are really nice, they treat the actors well,” she said.

Tasha appeared in Jack’s movies The Diam Diam Era in 2020 and The Diam Diam Era Two the following year.

‘I fear their stares and their judgement’

Tasha still finds acting to be something that takes her out of her comfort zone.

“Before I film each scene, I tell myself not to worry about how others see me,” she said.

Yi Fong countered: “But acting is all about how others see you.”

Tasha finds herself being overtly conscious and said she was even worried about the Hear U Out production crew.

She confessed: “I fear their stares and their judgement. I don’t know what they’re thinking. I wonder if they’re thinking that I’m not good enough.”

Yi Fong wondered if there may be some residual trauma from her time in South Korea.

“Since childhood, you’ve loved dancing. You took part in competitions, you trained to be in a K-pop girl group,” Yi Fong counted off on her fingers. “You needn’t be afraid of how others might rate your acting.”

Tasha hails from a family of dancers and learnt how to dance as a very young child. Her grandfather Sunny Low was a prominent dancer and choreographer, and her great-grandfather Low Poh San is often credited as introducing ballroom dancing to Singapore.

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Tasha realised the difference between acting and performing in a girl group was the spontaneity involved.

“In the past, we only performed after extensive training, so I wasn’t afraid,” she said. 

Though Tasha has yet to master the art of acting, she got lessons from Golden Horse Awards best actress winner Yeo Yann Yann for her most recent drama Genie In A Cup. 

“During the first lesson, she told me to sing, dance and scream with abandon,” she recalled. “She wanted to let myself go to get into character.”

Compared to the “hellish” life of a K-pop trainee, Tasha felt that it was the “first time I let myself go.”

She even started liking acting more, despite her anxieties.

ALSO READ: Meixin, Tasha Low and Richie Koh on the physical 'sacrifices' for their roles in local movie The Diam Diam Era

drimac@asiaone.com

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