PUBLISHED ONSeptember 22, 2022 4:53 AMByKhoo Yi-HangHe's going through one of the toughest periods in his life now but he doesn't expect support from his ex-wife as he "hurt her too deeply" in the past.
In an interview with Shin Min Daily News on Sept 20, local actor Duan Weiming responded to concerned queries about his recovery thus far after he amputated his left leg below the knee at the start of this month.
His leg had become infected due to diabetes and he had no choice but to amputate in order to prevent the infection from spreading.
While there has been an outpouring of support from friends and colleagues within local showbiz, his ex-wife hasn't visited him in the hospital — and Weiming can understand why.
Speaking calmly to reporters, Weiming, 61, explained: "I broke her heart before. I don't blame her, I hurt her too deeply."
Weiming has two children with his ex-wife, a daughter, 35, and a son, 15. He found fame playing coffee shop assistant Ah Cai in the 1986 TV drama Neighbours and also as a juvenile delinquent in the 1988 drama On The Fringe. He was last seen in season two of 128 Circle released earlier this year.
Admitting that he's been far from a good husband and father, Weiming recalled the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back in their marriage.
"Truthfully, she had done her very best to tolerate me, it's all my fault. There was one time I let her find a text message on my phone that read, 'Husband, what are you doing?'"
After that, their relationship plummeted and despite his pleas for them to mend their relationship, Weiming's ex-wife never looked back.
"She never gave me another chance — perhaps it was because I hurt her too much and killed all the love she could have had for me," Weiming said.
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He then immersed himself in work and Buddhist scriptures to distract himself from his heartbreak, which continued until he found new love with his current girlfriend, whom he refers to as his "wife".
And when his ex-wife found out, she only had words of advice. Weiming recounted: "She said to me, 'She treats you so well, so you must cherish her well!'"
Weiming hopes that his ex-wife can lead a peaceful life in any way she wishes.
"I believe she's forgiven me now; she stopped contacting me after that. Let it be, perhaps when it's time to let go, we should let go."
Weiming also spoke about how he tries his best to pay the alimony after their divorce.
"Regardless of whether I have a job, I will still make payment — I'll do part-time work and live frugally if I must. I really, really want to do my part for them."
Remembering a period of unemployment that ended just over a year ago, Weiming gave an anecdote of how he had been unable to pay alimony. He explained his situation to his ex-wife frankly, who heard his story and didn't request anything from him.
While the past is now behind Weiming, his recent amputation has made him feel like a child again.
In the hospital, he's slowly learning to rehabilitate himself.
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"Because of the loss of my left leg below the knee, I'm like a child having to learn everything all over again, like learning how to stand," Weiming explained. "Because my body isn't balanced, I have to be careful about how I firmly stand on the ground.
"And after standing, I have to learn how to safely seat myself in the wheelchair — these are things I have to pay attention to, I mustn't fall."
Weiming also resolved: "I will take this step by step. Besides, I have the time for it now. As long as I have a life to live, why can't I stand strong again? I don't want to avoid this and I won't — I hope that I'll be able to channel this same energy to the people who've suffered like I have."
Aside from well-wishes from friends and colleagues within the showbiz industry, Weiming has also received direct support from them.
"There was even a director who called me and said that they'd have a scene for me to act in. I'm not sure if they said it just to make me happy, but even if they did, I'd be alright with it," Weiming commented.
He added that his former employer and benefactor also covered his medical costs and told him: "Don't worry, you can recuperate in peace."
Weiming said he was so touched by this gesture that he nearly cried.
"I can't repay this kindness with money. As long as he doesn't dislike it, I can repay it with work in the future."
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khooyihang@asiaone.com
