PUBLISHED ONNovember 15, 2023 9:39 AMByYeo Shu HuiBehind the beauty, fame, glamour and dazzling spotlights of the K-pop industry lies a dark reality.
Late K-pop star Sulli spoke about the harshness of the entertainment industry in the new Netflix documentary Persona: Sulli, which was released recently.
The interview was conducted in 2019 and was in the midst of production when Sulli committed suicide on Oct 14, 2019, at the age of 25.
"Being a K-pop idol is the worst," she lamented, when asked about her experience.
Sulli, also known as Choi Jin-ri, was a member of South Korean girl group f(x), which also consisted of Victoria, Amber, Luna and Krystal. The group debuted in 2009 and Sulli left in 2015 to focus on acting.
She said: "I don't feel people think celebrities are human. They don't see us as humans."
Sulli added that when she started out in the entertainment industry, she was told that she was a "product".
"You need to be the finest, top-quality product for the public. That's what you are," she shared.
"Even when they didn't say I was a product, everyone treated me like one. I had to be what they wanted me to be. I had to fear losing my product value," Sulli added.
She also felt that she couldn't voice her opinions and no one cared for their well-being.
Sulli said: "We are basically puppets. Who cares if I'm exhausted?"
When asked how she dealt with the pressure that she faced as an idol, "blaming" herself was the only solution.
"The only time I felt in control was when I was… when I was giving myself pain. The only thing I could ever control was to blame myself and put myself down," she shared after a long pause, seemingly finding difficulties to put her pain into words.
Sulli was also asked if she ever felt that she was ever at fault in the first place as the root of the problem could lie in the system they were in.
Speaking in tears, Sulli said: "It was not an option for me… When I thought for myself for the first time and expressed how I was suffering, all these burdens on my shoulders… No, I couldn't think of it that way. It wasn't allowed."
She also spoke about the close relationship that she had with her other f(x) members and she cared a lot about them.
Sulli shared: "I don't think anybody gets this, but when you lose a member in a group… you're left with a huge void. Every one of us was part of this sisterhood. I loved them.
"We had each other's back. We told one another we'd get through it as a team."
Sulli also shared that as a celebrity, she put on a mask in public.
"[A mask of] acting tough, pretending to be okay," she said.
When asked why she decided to put down her mask for the interview, she expressed that she had always "hated" showing her weakness because she felt "embarrassed" and often experienced a "sense of shame".
"I didn't want to hide anymore," said Sulli.
Persona: Sulli is now available on Netflix.
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