'She really thought I was very stupid': Belinda Lee reveals childhood difficulties and giving up on herself

She struggled in academics as a child and while that has affected Belinda Lee's self-confidence, she's not letting it bring her down.

In an interview with Lianhe Zaobao for the new Mediacorp programme Tuesday Report: Late Bloomers, Belinda revealed that she didn't have an easy childhood when it came down to her studies.

"My parents never instilled in me a healthy understanding of what it means to study and they never gave me words of encouragement," the 45-year-old TV host said.

"Instead, they often told me, 'Your grades are so poor, you should find work earlier and raise a family, don't waste our money.'"

Belinda severely lacked self-confidence and doubted her abilities - it wasn't that she disliked studying, but that she simply couldn't achieve the grades that she wanted, she said in the show.

She also stated: "The whole school knew my grades. I became a joke to many, many people. My family would tell me, 'You are a failure.'"

Even her cousin tried to help her study, to no avail.

Recalled Belinda: "She would tutor me until she would figuratively vomit blood - she really thought I was very stupid. No matter how hard she taught me, I just couldn't learn.

"At the time, I felt like I was creating hardships for the people around me who would then be thinking of giving up on me, so I gradually began to give up on myself."

Finding hope

The negative mentality Belinda had as a child meant that she was essentially losing the race before it even started, she told reporters.

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"As a child, I felt that it was terrible to lose at the starting point, because the future felt murky and hopeless.

"But I now think there's a more terrifying thing than that: having no hope or direction in life and feeling that life itself is pointless. 

"Living a life of the 'walking dead' is frightening and I hope that no one will ever experience what I felt."

Instead, people should try to remain hopeful through the frustration that criticism brings and do their best to get in touch with those who believe in and love them, Belinda said.

She also added that conclusions should not be drawn too quickly and everyone should be given space and opportunities to grow.

"To this day, I still work very hard," Belinda said. "It's not easy. Fortunately, there are many around me who love me and believe in me, so I can slowly grow, step by step, learning and healing.

"I can't say that I've completely regained my confidence, but I'm certain that I'm a lot more confident than I was before."

Tuesday Report: Late Bloomers airs on Channel 8 every Tuesday at 8.30pm. It's also available for free on demand on meWATCH.

[embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Am2hIC1lFF8[/embed]

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khooyihang@asiaone.com