'You've written 2 compos about your mother, it's time to move on': Benjamin Kheng recalls harsh message from teacher 1 year after mum's death

Imagine grief as a box in the room of your mind.

When something tragic occurs, you can expect the box to be front and centre. As time passes, perhaps you can put the box on a shelf — and it won't take up the entire room — but you can never really get rid of it.

When local singer-songwriter Benjamin Kheng's mother died of breast cancer, he was only 12.

While people around him should have been sympathetic to the boy's plight, the now 33-year-old recently revealed a harsh message left by an English teacher when he wrote about her in class.

"A year after my mum passed, I wrote about her in my school essays as much as I could," Benjamin wrote in a video tribute to her he shared on Instagram yesterday (Aug 27).

"My English teacher left a note in red, saying, 'You have written two compositions about your mother, I think it's time to move on'."

Benjamin continued that he was glad that he did not listen to the teacher.

"I'm glad I continued to shamelessly immortalise her in words and in song, and in who I'm trying to be," he wrote.

Adding that grief "never really fades, but only glows gentler and fonder", he was glad that he now has a space to "share and give in grief".

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The accompanying video includes Benjamin sitting on the floor of a balcony, notebook in hand, while one of his dogs looks at him.

The caption reads: "You left, but you never really left."

It also shows footage of a young Benjamin and his younger sister, fellow singer Narelle, with their mother. In one clip, their mother is reading a book called Ahoy There, Little Polar Bear to the young siblings.

In another, Benjamin can be seen sitting on his mother's lap at what appears to be a doctor's office.

"I'm glad we found this dusty ol' DVD documentary our family made to remind me that my mother could rock any wig and still slay," Benjamin concluded his post.

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In a Facebook post in 2016, he also revealed his mother died two days before his PSLE, adding: "Principal shows up at the wake, gives me a hug, along with a trail of teachers who sit me in the corner of the room and give me supervised tuition. Dad tells them to pack up and go."

Fellow singer-songwriter Sezairi Sezali commented on his latest post, praising young Benjamin for not letting his teacher dissuade him.

"English teacher, not emotion police. Little Ben knew that," he wrote.

"Also, a difficult task approaching and helping a grieving child," Benjamin responded, perhaps giving his teacher the benefit of the doubt. "Hard to find the right words."

He wrote other comments that he didn't think the teacher "meant any malice" but it took him "a while to understand her heart".

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Content creator Hannah Alkaff wrote: "There hasn't been a day where I haven't spoken about my mum. I'm glad I'm not alone."

Benjamin's words on grief "glowing gentler and fonder" over time also brought comfort to Malaysian singer-songwriter Liesl-Mae regarding her late father.

"I'm waiting for the day my grief becomes like that," she commented. "Think that's what my dad would want."

"In your own time and pace, Liesl," Benjamin replied.

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drimac@asiaone.com

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