12 ways of a mean mum: Why mean mums don't have bad kids

One of these days, your child will call you a mean mum for not letting them do what they want. You might be taken aback by this. And when another person sees how well you’ve disciplined your child, you’ll get praise. Confused yet?

Take it as a compliment.

You’ve heard about spoiled children before, and it scares you. But you know that it isn’t their fault. It’s usually the parents' fault. So when you catch yourself not spoiling your kids and being called a mean mum, don’t worry! That just means you haven’t given up yet.

12 mean mum ways

1. Telling your kids to go to bed

Have you ever told your children how going for days without sleep can seriously mess them up? You should. And they shouldn’t be mad about it. Because everyone needs sleep. And if they can’t sleep, you can’t sleep. It's a win-win.

2. Not giving your kids dessert everyday

The best sweets are often the ones you rarely eat. You get to savour the moment! That’s what makes the sweet a “treat.”

And kids should learn that too much sugar can rot their teeth faster than they can say "high fructose corn syrup". Would they like to have black, ugly teeth for the rest of their lives? Do they want to go to the dentist all the time? We didn't think so! So yeah, they have you to thank, mean mum!

3. Making them pay for their own stuff

If you want something, you have to get it yourself. That’s how life works. So teach your kids the value of paying for their own stuff. Tell them how amazing it is to have full control over what you buy. Plus, they’ll learn how to spend wisely and appreciate what they buy more.

4. Not manipulating the world to your kid's advantage

Your children will definitely experience a time when not everything will be handed to them on a silver platter. One day they'll learn that they’re not exceptions to the rule.

So please stop manipulating the world so your kids always get what they want. You’re not preparing your children for the future, you’re setting them up to fail miserably.

5. Making them do hard things

Don’t just immediately help them when they have difficulty doing things. Let them struggle. And when they do overcome the obstacle, they empower themselves.

6. Giving them a watch or an alarm clock

Your child should learn how to value and manage their time. If they can’t, they’ll just end up being late to everything and not being able to do the things they want. A watch can also boost their confidence. It helps them feel responsible and grown up.

7. Not buying them the best and the latest

You aren't doing your child any favours when you spoil them. So be a mean mum and teach them that they can’t have it all.

They should know that having the best and the latest things isn't the most important thing in life. Give them a lesson about the true value of things. And teach them gratitude and satisfaction for the things they already have.

8. Let them feel loss and failure

If your kid breaks something they own, you don’t need to replace it. So just don’t do it. They need to learn a valuable lesson in taking better care of their stuff.

In fact, let them fail all the time. Experiencing failure makes them realise that they have to work for something to get it, and that not everything will be given to them. It teaches them responsibility and accountability.

9. Controlling their media consumption

We’ve said it again and again, children’s media consumption should be regulated. And just because other parents let their kids go crazy on gadgets doesn’t mean you should too. Put your foot down when it becomes an unhealthy obsession, or when the media they consume is inappropriate.

Stand up for decent parenting and let the rest follow.

10. Getting them to apologise

If your child can’t recognise when something’s wrong and own up to it, how are they going to be well-balanced adults in the future? How will they be able to have healthy long-term relationships?

If your kid does something wrong, make them realise what they did wrong and make them face the consequences. You can’t just ignore rudeness, bullying and dishonesty. You have to nip it in the bud.

11. Making them mind their manners

Children should learn to mind their manners at an early age or rude behaviour will turn into habit. Courtesy and politeness should be practiced, not just by your children, but by you as well. Good manners will take them far.

12. Making them work for free

Teach them the value of volunteer work, whether it’s cleaning the house or helping their grandparents with something. It teaches them about generosity and compassion.

Making them work for free in the service of others, even just their family, teaches them empathy. It teaches them to put themselves in other people’s shoes and realise that other people have needs, too. They learn that people have their own problems, and these are often greater than their own.

Being a mean mum can be good sometimes

Don’t worry about your children calling you a mean mum when you know you’ve done the right thing. In fact, you should probably treat yourself for teaching your kids better behaviour.

And even if your kids call you a mean mum to your face, please let them know that you love them. They will change, and they will realise that what you’ve done for them will help them grow into better human beings.

This article was first published in theAsianparent.