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5 questions to ask yourself if considering a breakup

5 questions to ask yourself if considering a breakup
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Not sure if your relationship is just going through a rough patch, or if it's truly no good for you and it's time to call it quits?

It doesn't matter what the people around you think – at the end of the day, you know best whether staying or leaving is the ideal option.

Cherlyn Chong, a breakup recovery and dating coach at Steps to Happyness, shares five questions to ask yourself before reaching a decision.

Is the spark really gone or have we just drifted apart?

Sometimes it's just a matter of reviving the relationship because both people didn't make it a priority. It is possible to get the spark back if both of you are fundamentally compatible.

Other times, it's really because the both of you could only make it last this long and it was always going to burn out.

If you feel that your partner doesn't stimulate you anymore, it could be because they have stayed the same while you have grown and moved forward. In a way, you have outgrown the relationship.

Is my partner constantly bringing out the worst in me?

If you are anxious all the time and emotionally drained, it's time to seriously consider if the relationship is worth it as it's an indication of a potentially toxic relationship.

The lack of emotional support, comfort and honesty in a relationship will throw it into chaos, and one partner will usually exhaust themselves trying to fix everything.

When anxiety consumes you, more often than not, it's time to call it quits. Relationships are supposed to bring out the best in you, not the worst.

Do I genuinely respect him, and can I see him as the father of my children?

The foundation of every healthy relationship is respect. If you find that you don't treat him as an equal and hold contempt towards him, it's unlikely that you'll see him as a solid future partner.

You must be able to picture him running around with the children, living in a home of your own and supporting each other through thick and thin.

If that picture is fuzzy, it might just be that you're with Mr OK-For-Now, not Mr Right.

Is it because I don't want a serious relationship right now?

Sometimes, he's the right guy but it's the wrong time. Sadly, that means he's the wrong guy too.

It's OK if you still want to see what's out there. If you feel like you'll forever regret not dating other men, it's likely that you'll cheat on your current partner, so it's better to do the right thing and let him go.

Have I been feeling this way for a long time?

If you have been wanting to leave for a while, then go with your gut. You are a naturally intuitive person, so no matter how much logic you put into your reasons for staying, the heart will want what it wants.

I've spoken to women who regretted leaving, but in the end, it's really because their ex had found someone else while they remained single, not because they thought they could truly make it work with the ex. When it comes down to it, trust your gut.

ALSO READ: Dating deal-breakers: 1 in 2 Singaporeans says they will dump a date for being too messy

This article was first published in Her World Online.

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