The circle of life: A daughter's caregiving story

The special bond formed between father and daughter is one that transcends time and age. However, the dynamics of the relationship slowly evolves as daughters find themselves serving a similar role for their father as their Dad once did for them.

Nora always enjoyed a close relationship with her Dad, Hussein. She fondly recalls a couple of her favourite moments with her father. Reminiscing about their recent trip to Batam for delicious seafood and their travels back to her Dad’s hometown in Malaysia for Hari Raya celebrations put a smile on her face. 

Her father journeyed different parts of the world and explored sights on his motorcycle while he was still active. Through her spoken experiences, it was evident they shared a love for traveling which gave them the opportunity to bond and spend quality time together.

No one expected such an adventurous man who was always on-the-go to one day be diagnosed with prostate cancer and paralysed from stomach downwards. Nora’s dad is now fully dependent on her. 

Though shocking and unanticipated, Nora handled this transformation of her father well as she had previously taken care of another family member in a similar state. It was then, that Nora experienced the true measure of unconditional love for her Dad. 

From receiving to giving care

Growing up, it was always Dad who looked after her, but now the tables have turned. A struggle and stressful time it was, but Nora took it upon her and found satisfaction in taking care of her Dad. Indeed, you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have. Nora, who once saw her dad as her source of strength is now his source of strength. 

Giving care can be draining at times but thankfully for Nora, her passion for caring and positive disposition helped her tide over the struggles of caregiving. Looking after her dad has also reminded her to not take things for granted and learn how to adapt and adjust to the changes in life. 

Over time, without relief and assistance, caregiving can take a mental and physical toll on family caregivers. Nora has an elder sister who helps to shoulder the responsibility of caregiving. However, as she recovers from an operation due to a recent accident, Nora still handles most of it.

As such, it is important that Nora manages her stress to avoid caregiver burnout. Baking, sight-seeing, trips with her girl friends and family visits to Germany as a way of relaxing are ways she prioritised her mental health. 

It is a good reminder for all caregivers that you, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. While you give care to others, never forget to care for yourself too. 

Caring for more in the community

Having shared her experience on caregiving for her family members, we were especially inspired by the fact that she went on further to take up caregiving as a profession. 

Home care to her is about building rapport with the care recipients. An individual can be trained for the professional aspects of care, but providing quality service is something that comes from the heart. She has developed close relationships with those under her care. 

What an awesome moment.

Evidently, delivering care no longer exists as just a job where Nora clocks in and out, but one that enabled her to connect and relate to on a personal level. Nora is not only a wonderful caregiver to her own dad but also renders help to other fathers out there who require assistance. 

Her dad who initially preferred for her to work in the shipping industry has now fully understood why she switched to the care industry. He sees the burning passion in her to give back to society and is proud of her noble decision. 

It is every parent’s desire to raise and watch their children blossom into strong, caring individuals. Children often grow to emulate their parents. Nora’s desire to care for her dad and others is reflective of his love and care of her. Even as Nora is proud to have a loving and caring father, she has also become the pride and joy of her father.

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This article was first published in Homage.