Hate that you're single? Here are 3 things to be grateful for
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PUBLISHED ONAugust 04, 2020 1:08 PMByHayley Tai
Being alone can be hard, especially during this period. And when you’re cooped up at home during this time, you may feel even more vulnerable when you allow your loneliness to engulf you.
It doesn’t help if your mates are all paired up and you may feel anxious and upset over the fact that you (a 20-something) are still single.
But before you go down the deep end of unhealthy coping mechanisms (i.e. spamming Tinder with swipes), have a listen to what the experts say.
You’ve been self-reliant for so long, so being alone for awhile more is totally fine
If there’s one thing singlehood can teach us, it’s to be independent. Single ladies out there, you probably find the image of having your meals alone (with no discomfort) rather familiar.
It may surprise you but the stigma of eating alone in a public space still affects many people.
And you’re also more likely to have your goals and plans set out as compared to your friends who have to wait for their partner’s OK when it comes to making decisions.
“Singles will realise during the pandemic that actually they are more self-reliant than they think,” says a senior counsellor from InContact Counselling & Training.
On the other hand, those who have come out of a relationship during the pandemic are also appreciative of the additional time they have to themselves.
Shirley Chong, a 29 year-old data manager, recently came out of a long-term relationship and enjoys having more time to work on her yoga poses.
“Being single has made me realise that I don’t have to rely on someone to feel fulfilled,” she says. “And I finally have time to work on myself, which is why I started doing yoga daily again.”
Don’t just focus on finding a romantic relationship
“Some singles meet people online and enter into a relationship,” says a senior counsellor from InContact Counselling & Training.
“This may work for the initial part of their relationship but they need to realise that other elements, like engaging the five senses, are needed for the relationship to further develop.”
And now that you have some additional free time, reconnecting with past acquaintances (ex-colleagues and old friends) can be a great way to keep your mental health in check.
“Reminiscing how past challenges were overcome may bring about fresh perspectives of past successes to further reinforce one’s resilience and self belief.”
Don’t forget to ask for help when you need it
Being single doesn’t mean you have to be alone. When you’re faced with challenges, you should never hesitate to reach out.
InContact Counselling & Training advices that if you’re experiencing the after effects of trauma or change (i.e. a break up or loss of job), finding a support group can help tide you through the tough time.
Furthermore, you should never rashly commit yourself to a relationship just because you want to escape your current problems.
“Indeed, the feeling of not being able to meet the right guy forever may have intensified during the pandemic,” says one of the senior counsellors from InContact Counselling & Training. “But if you feel anxious, you should always seek the help of professionals before you do anything.”
This article was first published in CLEO Singapore.