He gives out $10,000 in envelopes to strangers. Those envelopes were meant for his suicide notes

Kevin Wee, 29, was so determined to take his own life a year ago that he bought a stack of envelopes and paper to pen his final words to loved ones.

He did end up giving out 10 of those envelopes, but it was to 10 strangers.

And rather than messages of sorrow and regret, they contained blessings instead, in the form of $1,000 in cash, for a total of $10,000.

The envelopes were given out over the past two weeks to followers of his social media channel Radical Kindness, to celebrate his 10,000-follower milestone on TikTok.

[embed]https://www.tiktok.com/@radical_kindness_/video/7325768376872144130?lang=en[/embed]

As the name implies, Radical Kindness is a platform to spread kindness and "inspire a loving society", according to its profile.

Kevin expresses to us during our interview that the about-turn from being in the throes of darkness so recently is something that he himself can't quite fathom.

To recap, we last spoke to him two years ago for a separate feature on his mental health journey. At the time, Kevin was running a successful business as an entrepreneur and speaker in schools.

His core message sees him sharing lessons on resilience, about how he surmounted a tumultuous battle with depression and mania during his teenage years.

Things were going well for him at the time. Mere months later, however, his career and mental state fell to pieces.

In his own words, Kevin told AsiaOne that he made "a lot of money" in January 2022 (around the time of our first interview), only for it to evaporate within a span of five months.

"Success is infinitely more dangerous than failure," he opined in a series of Instagram stories documenting the $230,000 loss after putting almost all his money in stock options, cryptocurrency and NFTs.

He had believed that with his investment strategy, he "could be a millionaire soon".

The setback saw him sink into a major depressive phase.

Speaking to AsiaOne, he shares: "It was very devastating because it was money I'd worked very hard to earn over the last decade."

Stung by a pervasive sense of failure and guilt at losing so much of his hard-earned cash, Kevin promised himself to work even harder to earn it all back.

He worked 14- to 15-hour days during that time, but under such immense pressure, his mind "eventually shut down".

The anxiety led to Kevin experiencing "sensations", as he put it, where he could feel every minute details such as the soles of his feet touching the ground and every blink of his eyelids.

"I no longer felt human and I couldn't function," he states.

Severe bouts of hypersensitivity which sent him reeling meant he could no longer work and be "productive" - the very foundation he had built his self-worth around.

"I couldn't function at all because of the sensations which occupied my mind 24/7. It just felt like I lost control, and those factors led me to want to take my life," says Kevin of the sensory overload and consequent dark thoughts that swirled in his mind "from the start to the end of the day".

This continued for about a year, with him formulating plans to end his life in October 2022 and June 2023.

He decided that his "final day" would be July 23 "at around 3am". He planned everything, down to his last IG post to notes to family, friends and business partners.

What eventually pulled him from the brink, however, were thoughts of how his family "would be shattered" by his death.

Kevin also credits his friends, Project GreenRibbon founders Ling and Iskandar, who shared about their personal struggles and assured him that the sensations he was feeling was just temporary. He felt they were the first people he'd spoken to who "really understood".

With permission from his psychiatrist, Kevin substituted his medication for supplements and began pursuing lifestyle changes, which lifted his physiology and mental state. He is mindful to note, however, that while what he did worked for him, it might not work for everyone.

Envelopes now used for good

"Fast forward [to now], the same envelopes that I wanted to use to send out my suicide notes, I'm now using it to give away the $10,000," says Kevin emphatically.

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We could not help but wonder if his extreme generosity might hold a more ominous intent. Was he simply letting go of his worldly possessions ahead of time?

Kevin tells us that no one had picked up on the possibility but assures that he is in a good mental state. "Now [my mental state] is a 7.5 over 10, five months ago, it was -100 upon 10."

On his platform, Radical Kindness, Kevin is seen spreading kindness to strangers — from giving out cash to offering them words of affirmation and buying them presents.

The account blew up within a span of two months since it was launched on November 9 and currently has more than 20,000 followers on TikTok.

In one viral video last December which garnered more than 600,000 views, Kevin asks a foreign domestic worker for $5, to which she hands over the money readily. He then proceeds to surprise her by buying her anything she wants. Her story of how she'd lost her parents at a young age also left a deep impression on Kevin as well as netizens.

[embed]https://www.tiktok.com/@radical_kindness_/video/7310166164661980417?lang=en[/embed]

"Every interaction is unique and it means something to me," he states.

He estimates that he has given away $18,000 thus far in this span of time, including buying 10 Coldplay tickets recently for his followers.

Perhaps it's no surprise that some followers have called him "Singapore's MrBeast", the latter an American YouTuber known for his outrageous acts of generosity all captured on video. Kevin admits it is a compliment as he considers MrBeast an inspiring figure. He humbly states, however, that he "will never reach his level".

This also begs the question, is he doing it for the views?

"Why wouldn't I do it for the views?" is Kevin's candid response. "With more influence, I can do more good."

He points out that "one shouldn't hold a moral high ground when it comes to kindness", adding that he budgets about $3,000 a month for giveaways, and this will be funded solely from his passive income stream in distribution. He also still runs his speaking and training businesses, Rebound with Resilience and Glow in the Dark.

That hasn't stopped his mum from being worried about him overextending himself financially, though.

"She is infuriated with me," he candidly shares, perhaps echoing the worry of parents everywhere, but he knows that it "comes from a place of love". "Ironically, she's the one who taught me these values and that it's better to give than to receive.

"For now as I'm pretty stable [financially], I give away quite freely," he adds.

'I've always wanted to give away money'

Kevin shares how "starting this movement" had always been on his mind. "I've always wanted to give away money," he states.

The act was put into action much quicker than intended, however, spurred in part by the relapse as well as a failed romance with a girl who had encouraged him to push ahead with his plan.

"She is an amazing person. I hold no resentment and wish her all the best," he adds with a wistful smile. 

In fact, he had defiantly used "radical" in the platform's name after she had indicated how him being so had contributed to their incompatibility.

"To be fair, she might not have used the exact word, but that was the essence I got. But I told myself, 'I ain't changing who I am'." 

He also tells us how giving to others is something he has done his whole life, just less publicly. "To me, giving away money is normal, not giving away money is radical. What else are you going to do with it? You can't take it to your grave."

Recalling a statement he crafted when he was 19, he shares: "Life's greatest blessing is the ability to bless, life's greatest gift is the ability to give".

"But the intention now is to showcase the value of giving, so definitely it has to be on camera."

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While he states that his motivation will always lean more towards the desire to do good for others than for self-interest, he acknowledged that "profit helps keep things sustainable", especially once he has a family of his own to support.

And there is another intent in building this platform as well.

"I want influencers to notice and I want others to look and say that this is someone who cares for his followers and recognises that this platform would not be possible without them," he shares.

He adds how based on his observation and polls that he has run, influencers have a tendency to be entitled because of the number of followers they've amassed.

"And I think they don't always act in the best interest of their followers, so I want to be a catalyst for change."

He expresses: "Am I very, very rich? I'm not, but I just hope to inspire creators to do the same thing and value the audience."

Ultimately, however, he hopes to inspire "society at large". "If creators follow suit, that's a bonus."

Around 30 DMs a day from people asking for money

Kevin reveals that thanks to the reputation he has built, he gets about 30 private messages a day across platforms asking for some form of help, mainly monetary in nature. But he clarifies that he doesn't do "handouts", though he might offer them a loan.

"My thought process when dealing with this is not easy, but I don't give financial handouts mainly because it's not sustainable for me, and it's not always the best solution [for them]. What I've done is to provide loans if I feel their story is authentic, and I've met up with them," he states.

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He is fully aware, however, that it's money ("a couple of thousand dollars" so far) he might not get back.

As for requests for mental health support, Kevin feels helpless at times.

"I can't take on everybody's burden," he responds, which is why he has set up a community on Discord, Radical Kindness Fam, to build a community "to co-support one another".

One thing that he has discovered through these past months, however, is how closely intertwined money and mental health issues are.

"Money and mental health are very closely linked, because we put so much weight around finances," he shares, adding how he has come across those who have turned suicidal after running into financial trouble, be it because of scams or gambling.

"This shows that we also need more knowledge on financial literacy. Because learning how to manage your money and your emotions around money can really help your mental health as well. And my journey has taught me a lot about that relationship."

Kevin is also mindful that "life is unpredictable" and he is always cautious that his depression might return.

"But it's not something that I can control. The only thing I can control is the present."

candicecai@asiaone.com