Here's how to help your kids handle big emotions

Understanding emotions can be challenging for anyone, especially for kids who are still learning to make sense of and manage their feelings.

As adults, whether we are parents, teachers, or caregivers, we play a crucial role in guiding them through this journey. Here are some practical strategies to model and teach healthy coping skills to help kids handle big emotions.

1. Be a role model

Children learn a lot by observing the adults around them. Demonstrate healthy coping mechanisms in your own life.

If you are visibly stressed, share with your child what you are feeling and how you plan to cope. For example, you might say: "I'm feeling really stressed right now, so I'm going to take a few deep breaths and go for a walk to calm down."

Tips for being a role model:

• Talk about your feelings openly
• Show how you deal with stress in a positive way
• Practise self-care regularly and let your child see you doing it

2. Teach deep breathing techniques

Deep breathing is a simple yet effective way to calm the mind and body. Teaching kids how to use this technique can help them manage anxiety and anger.

Steps for teaching deep breathing:

• Explain: Talk about how taking deep breaths can help us feel better when we're upset.
• Demonstrate: Show them how to take a deep breath in through the nose and out through the mouth.
• Practise: Make it fun by pretending to blow up a balloon or blowing bubbles.

3. Create a calm-down space

A designated calm-down space can provide a safe and comforting environment for a child to retreat to when emotions run high. This space should be quiet, cosy, and filled with items that help them relax.

Ideas for a calm-down space:

• Soft pillows and blankets
• Favourite books or stuffed animals
• Sensory toys like stress balls or fidget spinners
• Calming music or white noise

4. Encourage creative expression

Art, music, and writing can be powerful tools for expressing and processing emotions. Encourage your child to use these outlets to explore their feelings.

Ways to encourage creative expression:

• Provide art supplies like crayons, markers, and paper
• Encourage them to keep a journal
• Explore music together, whether playing instruments or just listening to calming tunes
• Use role-playing with dolls or action figures to act out different scenarios

5. Practise mindfulness and meditation

Mindfulness and meditation can help kids become more aware of their thoughts and feelings, making it easier to manage big emotions. Start with simple practices that are easy for them to understand.

Mindfulness activities:

• Body scan: Guide your child through a body scan meditation, where they pay attention to how each part of their body feels.
• Mindful eating: Have them focus on their food's taste, texture, and smell.
• Five senses exercise: Ask them to notice five things they can see, four things they can touch, three things they can hear, two things they can smell, and one thing they can taste.

6. Encourage physical activity

Physical activity is a great way to release pent-up energy and emotions. Encourage your child to exercise regularly to boost their mood and reduce stress.

Fun physical activities:

• Go for a walk or bike ride together
• Have a dance party in the living room
• Sign them up for a sport or activity they enjoy
• Practise yoga or stretching exercises

7. Teach problem-solving skills

Helping children develop problem-solving skills empowers them to handle difficult situations independently. Guide them through identifying problems, brainstorming solutions, and evaluating the outcomes.

Steps for problem-solving:

• Identify the problem: Help them articulate what is bothering them.
• Brainstorm solutions: Encourage them to think of several possible solutions.
• Evaluate and choose: Discuss the pros and cons of each option and decide on the best one.
• Try it out: Put the chosen solution into practise.
• Reflect: Talk about what worked and didn't and what they can try next time.

8. Promote positive self-talk

Teach your child to recognise negative self-talk and replace it with positive, encouraging statements. This helps build resilience and self-esteem.

Examples of positive self-talk:

• "I can handle this."
• "Everyone makes mistakes, and that's okay."
• "I am proud of myself for trying."

By incorporating these strategies into your daily interactions with children, you can help them develop the tools they need to manage their emotions healthily and effectively. 

Remember, teaching healthy coping skills is an ongoing process, and your consistent support and guidance will make a significant difference in their emotional well-being.

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This article was first published in theAsianparent.