How a mother's warmth shapes a child's mental health, according to science

We often hear that "children don't remember what you said, but how you made them feel." Now, science backs this up big time.

A new study published in Jama Psychiatry (2025) shows that the warmth a mother shows during early childhood doesn't just create happy memories. It can shape a child's mental and physical health well into adolescence even as far as 14 to 17 years later.

What the study found

Researchers analysed data from over 8,000 children born in the UK between 2000 and 2002 as part of the Millennium Cohort Study. They assessed:

• Maternal warmth at age three (through behaviours like speaking in a kind tone, praising the child, and showing affection).
• Social safety schemas at age 14 (how secure, supported, and emotionally safe the child felt in their social world).
• Mental and physical health outcomes at age 17 (including diagnosis of anxiety, depression, self-harm, and physical health status).

The results were striking:

• More maternal warmth at age three led to a stronger sense of social safety at age 14.
• That sense of safety predicted better mental and physical health at age 17.

What is 'social safety'?

"Social safety" refers to the belief that you're supported, valued, and not alone. In the study, teens were asked questions like:

• "I have family and friends who help me feel safe, secure, and happy."
• "There is someone I trust whom I would turn to for advice if I were having problems."

A child who felt emotionally safe was less likely to develop depression or anxiety, and more likely to report better physical health. Simply put, love in the early years helps children feel safe in the world, and that safety becomes a shield in adolescence.

What about harsh parenting?

Interestingly, the study found that harsh parenting (e.g. scolding, physical restraint) didn't have a significant direct effect on adolescent health. But that doesn't mean it's harmless.

The absence of warmth, not just the presence of harshness was the key factor.

It wasn't about discipline or control. It was about connection.

Why this matters now more than ever

Rates of teen anxiety, depression and self-harm are rising globally. This research reminds us that early emotional connection can be a powerful form of prevention.

In the words of the researchers:

"If healthcare professionals can augment a youth's social safety schema by increasing their perceptions of available social safety and inclusion, they may be able to improve both their mental and physical health, even when they have experienced low maternal warmth."

But for parents, the takeaway is more personal and more hopeful.

What you can do as a parent

Even if your child is no longer a toddler, it's not too late to build or rebuild emotional safety. Here's how:

• Listen without judgement
• Be present and consistent
• Comfort before correcting
• Offer praise, affection and eye contact

Support outside the home matters too. Encourage friendships, school support and safe community spaces where your child can belong and be heard.

Final thoughts

Your voice, hugs, gentle presence. They're not just comforting in the moment. They shape how your child sees themselves and the world, years down the line.

Backed by science and felt in their future.

So next time you feel like those small, quiet moments of connection don't matter, remember this study. They do.

This article was first published in theAsianparent.