'I can't use hand sanitiser': Meet Monissha, a 17-year-old who suffers from psoriasis

Most of us might not think twice about using a hand sanitiser, especially since it's an essential item during the pandemic. 

However, things aren't as easy for 17-year-old Monissha Nath Kaushal. Kaushal suffers from psoriasis, a skin disorder that causes one's skin cells to multiply up to 10 times faster than normal.

In October, she posted a TikTok recounting an incident in school where she was forced to use hand sanitiser, despite indicating that she has a skin condition. 

@mmoonsey

why did you do that ? ##fypシ ##sgtiktok ##skin ##foryoupage ##psoriasis ##psoriasisawareness ##eczema ##pain ##trending ##shopping ##xyzbca

♬ Baby I - Toni.edxs??

The video has over 5.4 million views and received many comments from other TikTokers with similar experiences.

Speaking with AsiaOne last Saturday (Nov 20), Kaushal said she was diagnosed with psoriasis and twenty-nail dystrophy when she was five.

Psoriasis causes her skin to appear bumpy and covered in white scales. Sometimes, patches of dry skin appear on her soles and palms and they may tear and bleed. 

Her initial motivation for creating a TikTok account, she shared, was so that she could keep track of her skin's recovery. 

"I'm turning 17 this year, I wanted to learn how to treat my psoriasis on my own. I made my first TikTok so that I could be committed to tending to my skin every day." 

Growing up with psoriasis 

Judgmental gazes and opinions don't seem to faze Kaushal that much anymore, as she's had a fair share of them growing up. 

"I've heard plenty insensitive things said to me but that’s just how life is. [There are people] who really don't care about what their words do to someone," she said.

"I’ve been through so much discrimination in my life, so it's easy to ignore someone’s opinion on the internet." 

@mmoonsey

ouch#psoriasis #fyp #psoriasisawareness #foryoupage #fypシ #what #eczema #skin #skintok #skincare #ouch #shook #sgtiktok #skincondition #trending #m

♬ The woman was too stunned to speak - ⇢ ˗ˏˋ dominik ࿐ྂ

That said, she still vividly remembers an incident that happened when she attended a friend's birthday party in primary school. 

"When I entered my friend's place, I kept my socks on. Every two minutes, my palms bled and I needed to be taken care of. I remember other kids' parents seeing it and keeping their children away from me. I ended up leaving early." 

It's no exaggeration, she said.

"When it first appeared on my skin, the soles of my feet were completely covered in dry, dead skin — it was about four centimetres thick. My nails also looked like they were decaying; they curled inwards due to the nail dystrophy." 

Physical pain wasn't the only problem. Kaushal also had many dietary restrictions — no dairy, no gluten, no seafood and no meat. Even chocolate, a well-loved children's treat, was out of bounds.

More than skin deep  

The physical effects of her condition weren't the only thing that Kaushal was struggling with. 

"Many people think that psoriasis is just a skin condition, but it's more than that. It can also affect one's mental health." 

@mmoonsey #fypシ #psoriasis #psoriasisawareness #trending #xyzbca #skin #skincondition #sgtiktok ♬ double take - dhruv

As a child, she never dared look at herself in a mirror. That only changed when she turned 14 and her skin started to show signs of improvement. "I thought I was a monster," she said.

Without any peers she could turn to for advice or help, Kaushal spent a lot of time on her own. She confessed that she "didn't feel human" because she "didn't have similar experiences as people my age".

The pandemic in 2020 also brought along new fears and anxieties for the student, who was due to take her O'Level examinations the same year. 

"I was incredibly stressed out. My skin started to flare up violently — it got so bad I had an anxiety attack."

To protect herself physically and mentally, she took her exams as a private candidate. She said that she wanted to give herself "air to breathe".

Helping and inspiring others with her story 

With regard to her own journey towards self-acceptance, she said: "I saw myself and psoriasis as two different people, however, now I feel like it's a part of me, and so there's less to worry about." 

She also said that she "became less self-conscious" as time went by and she learnt to "look at myself and see myself for who I was".

Addressing netizens' reactions to her TikToks so far, Kaushal said that sharing her story online has given her a sense of community, as others with similar conditions have begun reaching out to her. 

One of the most memorable messages she received was from someone who had no idea they were suffering from a skin disorder until they came across her TikToks, and it prompted them to visit a dermatologist. 

"I felt truly touched, knowing that I’m a part of the reason why someone can feel better about their condition." 

claudiatan@asiaone.com