'I have serious trust issues': Naomi Neo opens up to psychologist on Jean Danker's podcast

From the outside, Naomi Neo comes across as a successful individual full of self-confidence.

It's almost mind-boggling to imagine otherwise; she's arguably the biggest online influencer in Singapore.

But the 27-year-old unveiled, in a guest appearance on radio DJ Jean Danker's podcast R U Okay?, that she's had her fair share of struggles on the way to the top of the local influencer scene.

In the 37-minute-long episode uploaded on YouTube on Wednesday (Sept 6), Naomi opened up about her struggles and why she decided to give therapy a go.

The episode wasn't just an exchange between Naomi and Jean as a psychologist, Jeanie Chu, was sitting in to provide her observations too.

Trust issues

"I have serious trust issues," Naomi admitted.

She explained that her tendency to not voice her thoughts might have been due to a lack of self-confidence.

This becomes problematic when your reluctance to voice your opinions also includes not wanting to share problems you are going through.

Naomi felt like sharing her issues would end up burdening whoever that's listening. So what tends to happen is she convinces herself that those issues might be best kept in her head instead.

"No, Naomi, no! Share because life is hard. As a mum, a successful woman, my gosh. You need to let it out at some point," Jean replied passionately.

If she's not sharing her issues with anyone, Naomi mentioned she'd go online to do so.

But the influencer understands that this alternative isn't always a bed of roses.

Without going into detail, Naomi shared that there have been instances where she'd have to deal with flak from netizens after sharing her thoughts in an online space.

Finding a safe space

Here's where Jeanie jumps in to provide her perspective.

She noted that it used to be safe for Naomi to head online to simply be herself and share her thoughts and feelings.

"The online community created that safe space for you. However, it sounds to me like it's not as safe now," Jean said.

Shen then asked Naomi to think of people she trusts and how she defines "safe".

Although Naomi mentioned her husband as a safe space, she caveated her response by stating that, due to her trust issues, there are worries that he might end up judging her.

A tip Jeanie provided Naomi was to think of what makes her husband safe.

"You may not have the answer now, which is fine. See whether you can find what makes him so safe for you to open up and where you can find that in other people," the psychologist said.

This will help expand Naomi's support system, and opening up to others will become easier.

For the kids

A big step Naomi took earlier this year was to seek help through therapy.

She let out a slight chuckle and admitted it's been years of contemplating whether therapy would be best for her.

But on a more serious note, the driving force behind this decision was her children, Kyzo and Zyla Rey.

"If I'm not mentally well then I really can't be there for them," Naomi said.

While she understands that it's vital to put her children first, Naomi also sees value in putting herself first at times to "be the best" version of herself for her kids.

This brought a smile to Jeanie as she pointed out that, again, there's plenty of self-awareness in Naomi's words.

After all, a therapy session isn't a sit-down with a professional and asking for advice. Jeanie explained that it's almost the exact opposite of that.

"We are very non-directive. We don't give advice because we believe the answers lies in yourself," she said. 

Naomi noted that she's still relatively new to therapy but, so far, it has been a very reassuring experience.

ALSO READ: 'People think that I am a show-off': Naomi Neo speaks out on struggles of a content creator over comfort food meal

amierul@asiaone.com

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