'I should treasure this': New dad Ghib Ojisan on his journey as the family's confinement nanny

'I should treasure this': New dad Ghib Ojisan on his journey as the family's confinement nanny
Ghib Ojisan has not only been a father, but a confinement nanny to his wife and daughter.
PHOTO: Ghib Ojisan

While confinement culture is something most Chinese Singaporeans are familiar with, to Ghib Ojisan, it was a completely foreign concept.

"I had no clue what this was, I had to do my research," the Singapore-based Japanese content creator told AsiaOne during an interview. 

Ghib, who is in his mid-30s, only learned about it after his Chinese wife became pregnant and they had to prepare for the birth of their daughter

"In Japan, we don't have this nanny culture," he said, explaining that most Japanese couples do everything themselves, with the occasional help from their parents.  

Though hiring one helps make the first few weeks after childbirth more manageable, the new father has decided to go without this extra help. 

In fact, he ended up becoming a confinement nanny of sorts instead. 

Cooking, cleaning and changing diapers 

Ghib shared that when Japanese couples have a baby, the "standard practice" is that the mother and child would usually stay in the hospital for around five to 10 days. 

While there, the parents will learn everything they need to know from the nurses and doctors before being discharged.  

Food-wise, there are no specific diets to follow and the mother is just encouraged to eat nutritious and healthy meals, he said. 

On the other hand, in Singapore, confinement nannies are hired to help to not only feed, bathe and change the baby, but also provide parenting advice, guide the mother on breastfeeding, and do basic housework. 

They also cook special confinement meals for the mother to "heal her womb". 

Despite the extra hand being a helpful addition during this period, Ghib shared that there were several reasons why he and his wife didn't want to engage a nanny. 

One big reason was that they were not comfortable with having a stranger in their house. 

Another more personal reason was that Ghib wanted to fully immerse himself into his new role as a father. 

"I wanted to experience everything. I feel like this is only a once in a lifetime thing, so I wanted to experience doing everything myself instead of just outsourcing this part of my journey," he explained.

Thanks to the flexible nature of his content creator job, Ghib has more freedom to plan his day around his family. 

Apart from the basics like changing his daughter's diapers and feeding her milk, Ghib also does the housework, brings her to the hospital for jaundice checks and cooks confinement meals for his wife. 

Ghib feeding his daughter milk. PHOTO: Ghib Ojisan

While it has been an exhausting process, it was also a fulfilling one as Ghib found himself picking up new skills, especially in the kitchen. 

"I don't mind cooking at all. I like learning new recipes. I basically like experiencing new cultures. When I started cooking these gingery [confinement meals] and all that, it was kind of fun," he confessed. 

He learned most of these from online research. 

Traditionally, in Chinese confinement culture, the mother needs to heal her womb by drinking a red date drink. 

And Ghib painstakingly made this from scratch for his wife every single day with a recipe he learned from her and his mother-in-law. 

Ghib preparing red date tea for his wife. PHOTO: Ghib Ojisan

"My mother-in-law would occasionally make it for us even before my wife's pregnancy," he recounted. 

As the weeks went by, Ghib and his wife slowly and naturally developed a shift work system to care for the baby. 

"How we divide our duties is, my wife mainly does the night shift," he elaborated. 

"My shift starts from around 7am. Usually that's when the baby gets fussy. Then I'll let my wife sleep until around 11am because she's very tired from the night shift." 

Ghib admitted that one reason why he was able to be so hands-on is that his wife isn't uptight about the traditional confinement practices. 

"My wife isn't too strict [about confinement], so maybe that's why it was doable for me. If she was very strict with tradition, maybe I would have ended up outsourcing help," he said. 

The ups and downs of fatherhood 

While it's been an extremely fulfilling journey, Ghib confessed that it does not come without challenges. 

"The biggest will be sometimes I don't know which to prioritise, baby or wife," Ghib said honestly. 

To cite an example, he shared how sometimes, when his wife is resting, the baby gets fussy and wants breast milk instead of bottled milk.

This leaves Ghib torn because as much as he wants to give his daughter what she wants, he can't bear to disturb his exhausted wife during her rest. 

"I often find myself struggling. I talked to my wife and she said I should totally wake her up and to prioritise the baby," he confessed. 

"But still, sometimes, if I feel like the baby can wait, I will just wait for my wife to naturally wake up. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing." 

Another thing Ghib struggles with is adjusting to his whole new lifestyle. 

"I have much less time to work. Because of course, prior to the baby, I can just spend all my time working, no interruption. But then with the baby, recently, she's been very fussy," he said. 

Ghib shared that sometimes, no matter what he does, his daughter would not stop crying, and because he's so busy trying to be there for her, he has no time for himself.

Ghib changing his daughter's diapers. PHOTO: Ghib Ojisan

"It's very difficult to find that lump of time for myself. But I try to remind myself that I should treasure this," he said. 

"She is very cute. This is not going to continue forever. So I should enjoy it." 

Despite his hectic new schedule, Ghib shared that teamwork does makes the dream work. 

Because he and his wife both want personal time to do their own things, they take turns. 

"I need to work out every day because I'm getting quite fat so as I do this, my wife will take care of the baby," he cited as an example. 

"Then sometimes my wife needs to destress and eat all the unhealthy food at the mall. So then I will take care of the baby. So it's just teamwork."

Even though it has been only a few weeks since he became a father, Ghib has learned plenty about parenthood and being a father. 

He also has advice for men who are in or are about to be in the same position as him. 

"A lot of irrational things may happen after becoming a father. Like the baby crying for no reason or your wife scolding you for irrational reasons due to hormonal changes and sleepless nights. 

"But I think it's important to be understanding of their situation," he shared. 

Ghib said that while it's easy to talk back and be angry, a father should try to be more accepting and not fight back. 

However, in the midst of it all, fathers should take care of themselves as well. 

"You have to prioritise and be nice to yourself as well," he said. 

Read Also
lifestyle
'Your children are a reflection of you': We ask fathers to give advice to first-time dads

melissateo@asiaone.com

For more original AsiaOne articles, visit here.

homepage

trending

trending
    'We must be quietly confident to handle emerging threats': Defence Minister Chan Chun Sing on SAF's operational readiness
    Critical infrastructure in Singapore under attack by cyber espionage group: Shanmugam
    314 suicides reported in Singapore in 2024, remains leading cause of youth deaths
    Woman and cabby taken to hospital after vehicle pile-up in City Hall area
    Singapore car enters Causeway bus lane, causes multiple-vehicle collision
    School van in JB overturns after hitting uncovered manhole, 16 students injured
    Sex first, then you can sell my flat: Women property agents fend off indecent proposals and harassment
    'Reflecting our shared pride and collective spirit': Singapore rolls out National Day-themed trains and stations for 60th birthday
    Singapore travel company responds after criticisms over alleged planning and safety lapses on Madagascar expedition
    'Absolutely not okay': New auto pet washer at Holland Drive draws concern from netizens, SPCA
    5 foreigners charged over scheme to get arrested to prolong stay in Singapore and sell sex drugs
    'May you find rainbows in your skies': Outpouring of support for Jetstar Asia staff as closure looms

Singapore

Singapore
    • 'I worry for my kids': Loan sharks harass woman with funeral wreaths after friend allegedly uses her details
    • 15 people under investigation for sharing Singpass credentials and facilitating scams
    • Mm2 Asia considering closing Cathay Cineplexes amid millions of dollars in debt
    • 'Hiding behind gangster-style bravado': Debt collection firm responds after staff member attacked with golf club
    • Police investigating 93 people, including 13-year-old, for unlicensed moneylending activities
    • Singapore Zoo breeds critically endangered Philippine crocodile for the first time
    • Fatal abuse of Myanmar maid in Bishan: Traffic Police officer sentenced to 10 years' jail
    • What is the best way to meet the people's needs? SM Lee, Jamus Lim debate COE scheme
    • NEA monitoring E. coli at Sentosa after elevated bacteria levels delay World Aquatics events
    • 'Everyone's time is respected': ComfortDelGro to introduce new taxi cancellation, waiting fee policy

Entertainment

Entertainment
    • 'To a lifetime of side quests together': Chen Xi marries non-celeb Japanese girlfriend
    • 'There's no one whose kin doesn't die': Jet Li reveals his thoughts on death, why he doesn't attend funerals, daughter being suicidal
    • 'My grandma and mum's recipe': Li Nanxing collaborates with Nan Yang Dao for hae bee hiam dishes
    • Video-taking ban at J-rock band My First Story's debut Singapore show results in superb concert experience
    • Jimmy Fallon shocked by The Late Show's cancellation, voices support for Stephen Colbert
    • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is coming to an end
    • Simon Cowell to star in new reality show for Netflix
    • Coldplay might have exposed tech CEO's alleged affair during concert
    • North Korean defectors make debut in new K-pop boy band
    • John Malkovich's scenes cut from The Fantastic Four: First Steps

Lifestyle

Lifestyle
    • Blue Bottle Coffee opens cafe in Orchard Road, fans can expect exclusive menu items and more
    • Life-sized animatronics, 22 immersive zones and more: First look at the new Singapore Oceanarium
    • Asia's 50 Best Bars 2025: 5 Singapore bars make the list, a drop from last year's 11
    • Malaysian watch brand pays tribute to king of fruits with durian-inspired timepiece
    • Celebrate SG60: National Day promotions across Singapore
    • Just opened July 2025: New restaurants, cafes and bars in Singapore
    • Why are we still working while sick? (And how to actually thrive at work)
    • Singapore’s millionaires chase longevity and well-being as latest must-haves
    • Lion cub cuddles on offer with afternoon tea in China
    • Men jailed for felling Britain's iconic 'Sycamore Gap' tree

Digicult

Digicult
    • Slim, sleek, but slightly too short-lived: Samsung Galaxy S25 Edge review
    • World's best Dota 2 teams to compete for $1m prize pool in Singapore in November
    • 'Give a positive review': Hidden AI prompt found in academic paper by NUS researchers
    • 'Report 1 shop, another 10 appear': Hoyo Fest artists on copyright struggles
    • NTU penalises 3 students over use of AI tools; they dispute university's findings
    • Australia social media teen ban software trial organisers say the tech works
    • Disney, Universal sue image creator Midjourney for copyright infringement
    • Initiative by IMDA, AI Verify Foundation tests AI accuracy, trustworthiness in real-world scenarios
    • Under siege? Helldivers 2's latest city to be invaded by aliens could be spoof of Singapore
    • Honor 400 Series launches in Singapore with first free in-device AI image-to-video tool

Money

Money
    • Up 4.3%: Singapore's economy grew in Q2 despite US tariff fears
    • US Senate passes aid, public broadcasting cuts in victory for Trump
    • Beneath China's resilient economy, a life of pay cuts and side hustles
    • France's PM wants to scrap 2 public holidays to help fix government finances
    • Retiring OCBC chief Helen Wong drives synergies among markets, business units, bank insiders say
    • Trump sets 19% tariff on Indonesia goods in latest deal, EU readies retaliation
    • US planes, cars and drinks on EU list for potential tariffs
    • China suffers $9.7b in losses from natural disasters in H1 2025
    • Best credit card promotions in Singapore (July 2025): Citibank, DBS, HSBC, UOB and more
    • Best bank offers in Singapore (July 2025): 50% cashback on public transit with Amex, win Business Class flights with HSBC and more

Latest

Latest
  • Australia delivers Abrams tanks to Ukraine for war with Russia
  • Israel will not renew visa of top UN humanitarian official
  • Trump says he thinks 5 jets were shot down in India-Pakistan hostilities
  • Federal judge blocks enforcement of Trump's order on ICC
  • Damage mounts in South Korea as torrential rains enter 4th day
  • Trump's new Alcatraz prison could cost $2.5b, Axios reports
  • Blast at Los Angeles sheriff's facility kills 3 deputies
  • Cardinal brings aid to Gaza after Israeli strike on Catholic church
  • Israel's Netanyahu called Pope Leo after Gaza church strike, Vatican says

In Case You Missed It

In Case You Missed It
  • Thai woman allegedly extorts $15m from senior Buddhist monks over 3 years, gambles away almost everything
  • I lost my daughter to Kpod addiction: Father of 19-year-old shares heartbreak and lessons
  • China mum jailed for selling 2 sons for over $14k to tip livestreamers, buy clothes
  • Organised crime groups pushing drug-laced vapes in Asia including Singapore: UN
  • Malaysian man strikes $4m lottery after betting on his, girlfriend's IC numbers for 3 years
  • Singaporean who defaulted on NS obligations used fake Malaysian passports at checkpoints over 800 times
  • JB mum forgets baby in car during shopping trip; cops, locksmith rescue infant
  • Lurid tale of China's cross-dressing 'red uncle' goes viral online
  • Climbers battle torrential waters after flash floods hit Mount Kinabalu; all 155 persons safe, says park
This website is best viewed using the latest versions of web browsers.