I've had a 'chou chou' for 21 years and I'm not ashamed to admit it

Be it in the form of a small bolster, a pillow, a blanket or a stuffed toy, having a chou chou (smelly pillow) seemed to be a perfectly normal thing to me — or so I thought. Imagine my shock when I found out (at age 24, no less), that not everyone has a chou chou.

Traditionally, the pillows are hand-made by grandmothers and filled with dried bean sprout husks as a gift to their newborn grandchildren so they don't get startled while sleeping.

Most may call it chou chou, which translates to "smelly" in Mandarin, and others might know it as bantal busuk (Malay for "smelly pillow"). It is something personal which they would have had since they were young — a comfort object if you will.

Those who don't have a chou chou may gasp in horror at the thought of keeping a smelly pillow and not washing it for days or months — sometimes even years, on end. While those who are camp chou chou just can't sleep without it.

All my life, I've had my chou chou by my side in bed, because there's just something about the smell that helps me to fall into slumber. I never knew how I developed this habit, until I asked my mother where I got my chou chou from in the first place.

Apparently, my grandmother hand-made my chou chou and gave it to me when I was about three years old. She filled the bolster with cotton wool before sewing it up and she also made a bolster sheet to protect my chou chou.

I was told that I needed to smell it before going to sleep every night, or else I would cry and kick up a fuss. That might explain why up till now, I find it hard to fall asleep without my chou chou. And it seems I'm not alone.

In a poll conducted in the office, at least two other colleagues admitted to being attached to their chou chous (I choose to believe the rest are just shy).

One colleague, Le En, 30, had her chou chou named 'Doggy' given to her when she was only a month-old. She shared that she would sleep with the stuffed toy every night until the age of 12.

Said Le En: "I was 100,000 per cent convinced that if I never had my chou chou, I would never fall asleep ever again".

She mentioned that her family felt that it was embarrassing for a grown kid to hold on to a ratty old stuffed toy, so in the middle of the night, her mother would take it away while she slept. Just like me, she would wake up crying. Even though Le En doesn't sleep with Doggy anymore, she still keeps him close, sitting on a shelf in her room.

Thankfully, my mother is much more accepting towards my chou chou and I'm allowed to bring it overseas if I travel with my family, because I don't know what I'll do without it.

But I definitely won't bring it on trips with friends who don't know me well enough, because I do feel slightly embarrassed no matter how much I love my chou chou. But there's nothing to hide now, since everyone will know about my chou chou after reading this.

WASHING YOUR CHOU CHOU

While some people don't wash their chou chou for so long that when they finally steel themselves to do it, they find that the water has turned into the shade of boba milk tea. Now that's just unsanitary.

I wash my chou chou at least once a month. And I know what you are thinking, it seems gross, but I like the smell on my chou chou (don't judge!).

Contrary to popular belief, it only takes a few days for the familiar smell to return after washing your chou chou. So please wash it, because there are still hygiene issues to be addressed.

If someone asks me to throw away my chou chou, I'd sooner throw them out of my house. Just kidding, or am I?

Yes, I may be overly attached to my chou chou, but who isn't? People have different reasons why they love their beloved chou chou.

Shared Tanya*, 36, who washes her pillow once a week: "I've kept my pillow for about 16 to 17 years. I bought it as a replacement for my old one, which disintegrated after a wash.

Said Tanya fondly of her pillow: "It's so comfortable, and it will take a long time for a new pillow to be 'seasoned' before it becomes this comfortable."

Interestingly enough, her male cousin, Ashvin, 25, also has a similar pillow which his mother bought.

After having had it with him for at least 12 years, he said: "I've had it for too long already, I don't have the heart to throw it away."

Jayne* too, had to replace her old chou chou. The one she has now is about 10 years old, "but it is not the same one I had when I was younger".

The 31-year-old shared: "I need to touch the corners of my chou chou to sleep well and it has my smell too... I would touch it until the corners are torn and have to be sewn back again."

Said another colleague, Rainer Cheung, 22: "The corners are one of the most important parts of it. After I stopped chewing it up, the corners have this nice ticklish feel to it.

"Once, a new helper saw that it was torn at the corner and mended it, I was so upset about it."

Until today, Rainer brings her chou chou along with her even on work trips as she feels "it's something that grounds me in the moment".

Not all chou chous are the same. To some of us, there's a deeper sentimental value attached to it.

For another one of our colleagues, Jude Lim, her chou chou was the first gift from her then-boyfriend (now husband) when she was 17. It is precious to Jude because it resembled her beloved pet pooch which died a year ago.

The 31-year-old revealed: "The toy dog wears a piece of clothing that I'd stitched for my old dog with a print of his paw on it, so in a way my dog is always by my side". This explains why she brings it along with her wherever she goes.

As for me, after recently learning that my chou chou was made by my grandmother, it had added sentimental value, especially so when my grandmother passed away two years ago.

While you may or may not have a touching story behind your chou chou, there's nothing wrong in loving it for what it is, if it gives you comfort and peace. Or just as a huggable sleeping aid.

So to all chou chou lovers out there, don't be ashamed when other people thumb their noses and say that it's gross or childish.

I, for one, will be keeping mine close even till I'm grey and old, and I'm sure I won't be the only one. 

*Not their real names