PUBLISHED ONMay 31, 2021 11:25 AMByMelissa Teo Leaving Home is an original AsiaOne series where we speak to young people who have taken the leap to move out of their parents' homes. Who says you have to wait till marriage or the age of 35? They share just what it takes to have a space you can call your own.
In Singapore, where the norm is to move out when you get married, most young adults are probably still stuck living in their parents' homes. But for 24-year-old Mathilda Huang, who's chosen to go against the grain, home is a beautiful, airy one-bedroom rental loft.
After around a month of house-hunting, Mathilda, an influencer, spin instructor and small business owner, who also happens to have a full-time job, finally moved out of her family home on Oct 30 last year, she tells AsiaOne.
When we arrive at her apartment on a sunny weekday afternoon, we immediately feel at home. It's the small touches in the simply yet tastefully furnished place that reflect Mathilda's personality, from a picture of parrots she painted herself to her prized plant collection.
Mathilda also plays the part of the hostess perfectly, moving things around to make space for us and offering us drinks as she flits around the space in her go-to attire for lounging at home — a sports bra and shorts.
While she appears to have everything together now, it took her a while to learn how to live alone, Mathilda confesses.
'Buying freedom is worth it'
Right off the bat, Mathilda makes it clear that she has a great relationship with her parents. Nevertheless, she gradually found herself craving for a space where she could completely be herself.
"I felt creatively stuck at home," she laments, explaining how being in such close quarters with her parents took away a part of her personal space.
As her family lived "very different" lives, the clashes made it hard for her to properly grow as a person, she says. It also didn't help that they owned a "very loud" dog which could get distracting at times.
And so she began researching and house-hunting, looking for a place of her own.
Her parents were surprisingly pretty supportive of the decision when she broke the news to them, Mathilda says. Naturally, they had their fair share of concerns such as the neighbourhood she would be living in and the cost of rent but they didn't pressure her too much.
"I had to reassure them quite a bit, but once they saw that I was settling in, they realised that I had it all handled," she shares.
While some might say that renting, especially in Singapore, is a waste of money, Mathilda begs to differ. In fact, she considers it an investment of sorts.
"I don't think, in my perspective, it was bleeding money. Buying freedom, to me, I think that's honestly worth it," she tells us when we asked if she has any regrets about renting a place at such a young age.
"We are always brought up to follow the norm and wait until we get married before eventually moving out of our parent's place," she acknowledges. "I do agree that it is very expensive, especially in Singapore."
However she feels that it is worth is as short-term experience. This is especially so because she is at an age where she has less commitments like raising child, she says. "I felt like it needed to happen for me to become the person that I am today and for me to grow independently."
However, despite the many benefits that come with having a place all to yourself, Mathilda doesn't view this as a long-term solution and hopes to have her own permanent home in the future.
Dealing with homesickness
While she was confident that moving out was a step in the right direction, a part of Mathilda had still found it hard to do so because she was leaving behind her loved ones.
"It was definitely not an easy decision to make. I do miss my parents and my dog," she expresses while talking about her family home.
At times, it even got a little lonely without the presence of other humans, especially during the first few days in her new environment.
"I felt like that first night I spent here alone, living by myself, it was so weird not hearing my parents tell me 'good night'."
Strangely enough, despite feeling homesick, Mathilda admits that the move has actually helped to strengthen her relationship with her parents.
They meet once in a while for a meal and occasionally, she even joins her dad for a chill drink or two.
"I really feel like distance makes the heart grow fonder, so we have more to catch up on because we don't see each other every day," Mathilda says with a smile.
Adulting 101
Wanting to move out is one thing, but actually finding a new home is a completely different matter altogether.
According to Mathilda, the entire process took her around a month and she spent quite a fair bit of time on platforms such as PropertyGuru and 99.co.
After picking out a few places which matched her criteria, she arranged for house viewings so she could check out the places in person. Some things she looked out for included the types of walls within the house, how the neighbours were and how the landlords communicated with her, she said.
She would arrange to have a few viewings packed into one day and sometimes, she would visit house after house from morning till night, she recalls.
While the process sounds exhausting, Mathilda says she can emphasise enough the importance of going for as many viewings as you can.
Mathilda's current home was the eighth house on the list after a long Sunday of viewings. When she finally reached it, she was immediately drawn in by its well-planned layout.
Loft homes can typically be pretty cramped but this one was rather spacious — there's even room to fit a queen-sized bed, wardrobe, vanity table and a clothes rack on the upper floor.
Additionally, a major plus was that the apartment came furnished, and included essentials such as a mattress and cookware.
"When I stepped into the loft space, I immediately felt at home," she tells us with a bright smile.
However she couldn't just move in on the spot — she had to go through the whole process of signing the stamp fee and tenant agreement, negotiating lease terms and paying the deposit before her landlords finally handed over the keys.
Besides all the paperwork, Mathilda's "adulting" journey has also consisted of learning to clean up after herself, she tells us with a laugh, adding that that's the worse part about living alone.
Some of the issues she's had to tackle include leaky pipes, a broken induction cooker and noisy neighbours keeping her up at night.
Additionally, she had to learn how to deal with everyone's worst nightmare — cockroaches.
"They don't die, I don't get it!" she gripes jokingly.
Despite finding those a chore, it's evident that Mathilda knows what she's doing because a quick glance over her home reveals a spick and span space with no leaky pipes in sight.
"I think in Singapore, we are just very attuned to our parents picking up our slack," she says sheepishly, admitting that it took her some time to get used to the fact that nobody would clean up after her.
Sacrifices and lifestyle changes
Another other lifestyle change Mathilda has had to make is setting aside money for rent every month.
"I'm not going to lie to you. It hurts every single month to see the money go down," she confesses.
While she declines to reveal her rent for privacy reasons, she tells us, "It was daunting because it was so much more money than I expected."
To be able to fork out that sum of money every month, she grinds hard by working a full-time job while juggling additional side-hustles. Besides her cheeseboard and sangria businesses, Sage Soiree, she teaches spin classes. She also happens to be an influencer, with over 28,000 Instagram followers.
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She's also had to relook her expenditure and tweak her lifestyle, she says.
This includes eating out less, cutting down on drinking sessions and watching movies at home instead of the cinema.
However, it's still important to remember to enjoy life even if you're on a budget, she adds.
Now, she and her boyfriend are more creative with their date ideas. These days, they spend more time in her kitchen exploring different recipes and cuisines instead of splurging on an expensive meal outside.
While moving out can seem daunting, Mathilda says her top tip would be to do it "when you're ready".
"Financially ready, mentally ready and emotionally ready."
melissateo@asiaone.com