Making the most of paternity leave: 10 ways dads can lend a hand, bond and build memories

So, dads, you're on paternity leave. Now what?

The next few weeks are a mix of excitement, sleeplessness, and constant demand — but also some of the most valuable time you'll ever have with your little one.

Taking on an active role right now doesn't just give mum a well-deserved breather; it creates opportunities to connect with your baby and builds the foundation for a solid co-parenting partnership.

How can you maximise this time to truly make a difference? Let's dive into some practical and fun ways to navigate your paternity leave like a pro!

Embracing your role during paternity leave

Your paternity leave is more than just a chance to catch up on sleep (although, let's be honest, you'll need it!).

It's about actively participating in the early days of your child's life and supporting your partner through the challenging postpartum period.

By taking a proactive approach, you'll not only strengthen your bond with your baby but also create a harmonious home environment during this crucial time of adjustment.

1. Master the diaper change dance

First things first, let's tackle the not-so-glamorous but absolutely essential task of diaper changing. During your paternity leave, it's time to roll up your sleeves and become a diaper-changing champion. Your partner will appreciate the help, and you'll be surprised at how quickly you become a pro.

• Set up a changing station: Create a comfortable area with all the essentials within arm's reach. This will make the process smoother and more efficient.
• Practise your technique: Don't be afraid to ask for tips or watch tutorials. Soon, you'll be changing diapers with your eyes closed (though we don't recommend that!).
• Make it fun: Turn diaper changes into a bonding experience by singing silly songs or playing gentle tickle games with your baby.

Remember, every diaper change is an opportunity to connect with your little one and give your partner a much-needed break. Embrace the task, and you'll soon find it's not as daunting as it first seems.

2. Step up to the feeding plate

Whether your baby is breastfed or bottle-fed, there's plenty you can do to support feeding time during your paternity leave. This is your chance to be an integral part of your baby's nourishment and growth.

For breastfeeding support:

• Be your partner's biggest cheerleader
• Bring her water, snacks, or a comfortable pillow
• Take charge of burping and post-feeding cuddles

For bottle-feeding dads:

• Learn the perfect bottle temperature
• Master the art of burping
• Take the lead on some feeding sessions, giving your partner a chance to rest

Remember, feeding time is about more than just nutrition; it's a precious bonding experience. Enjoy those moments of eye contact with your little one, and savour the connection you're building.

3. Conquer the midnight shift

Sleep deprivation is part and parcel of new parenthood, but your paternity leave is the perfect time to share the load. Taking on some night shifts allows your partner to get some much-needed rest and gives you valuable one-on-one time with your baby.

• Create a night shift system: Work with your partner to develop a schedule that works for both of you. Maybe you'll alternate nights or take specific hours.
• Develop soothing techniques: Find what works best for your baby. It could be gentle lullabies, calming walks around the room, or perfecting your swaddling skills.
• Embrace the quiet moments: There's something magical about those moonlit hours with your little one. Use this time to bond and create special memories.

By stepping up during the night, you're not just helping your partner; you're building a strong connection with your baby and gaining confidence in your parenting abilities.

4. Tackle the home front

With a newborn in the house, keeping up with chores can feel like an uphill battle. During your paternity leave, make it your mission to stay on top of household tasks. A tidy home can help reduce stress for everyone, creating a more peaceful environment for your new family.

• Do the laundry: And trust us, there will be a lot of it!
• Keep the kitchen tidy: A clean kitchen can make a world of difference in maintaining sanity.
• Meal prep: Learn to cook a few simple, nutritious meals. Your partner will appreciate having one less thing to worry about.
• Stock up on essentials: Ensure there are always clean bottles, pump parts, and other baby necessities available.

By taking charge of these tasks, you're contributing significantly to the smooth running of your home and showing your partner that you're fully invested in this parenting journey.

5. Embark on mini adventures

Who says paternity leave has to be all about staying at home? Once you and your partner feel ready, start venturing out with your baby. These little excursions are great for everyone's mental health and help your baby start experiencing the world around them.

• Take short walks: Start with strolls around your neighbourhood.
• Visit nearby parks: In Singapore, places like the Botanic Gardens or East Coast Park are perfect for family outings.
• Brave a quick errand: A short trip to the grocery store can be an adventure with a newborn!

These outings will boost your confidence in handling your baby outside the home and provide great opportunities for photos and memories. Just remember to pack that diaper bag carefully!

6. Capture precious moments

Your paternity leave is the perfect time to document those early days. Becoming the family photographer allows you to preserve memories that you'll treasure for years to come.

• Take candid shots: Capture your partner with the baby, adorable sleeping poses, and those hilarious first expressions.
• Get in the frame: Hand the camera over sometimes so you can be in the pictures too.
• Create a digital album: Start a collection to share with family and friends (with your partner's permission, of course).

Years from now, you'll be grateful for these visual memories of your paternity leave and your baby's first weeks. Just remember to put the camera down sometimes and simply live in the moment.

7. Boost your baby care IQ

Use some of your paternity leave time to become a baby care expert. The more you know, the more confident you'll feel in your new role as a dad.

• Read up: Dive into books on infant development and care.
• Watch tutorials: Learn about baby massage, safety, and upcoming milestones.
• Take a class: Consider an infant CPR course or join a new parents' support group. In Singapore, community centres and hospitals often offer such classes.

This knowledge will not only make you feel more prepared but also reassure your partner that you're fully invested in your baby's well-being.

8. Strengthen your partnership

Amidst the whirlwind of new parenthood, don't forget about your relationship with your partner. Use your paternity leave to reinforce your bond as a couple and as new parents.

• Have open conversations: Discuss your experiences, fears, and joys.
• Support each other: Recognise and celebrate the small victories together.
• Carve out a couple time: Even if it's just sharing a cup of coffee while the baby naps or watching a favourite show together in the evening.

Remember, a strong partnership is the foundation of a happy family, so nurture your relationship alongside your new role as parents.

9. Plan for the work return

As your paternity leave nears its end, start preparing for your return to work. This preparation will help make the transition smoother for everyone.

• Establish routines: Work with your partner to create a schedule that balances both of your needs once you're back at the office.
• Practise bottle feeding: If you haven't already, make sure your baby is comfortable with bottle feeds.
• Explore flexible options: Consider discussing work-from-home days or flexible hours with your employer. Many Singaporean companies are becoming more family-friendly.

The goal is to find a balance that allows you to stay involved in your baby's care while managing your professional responsibilities.

10. Prioritise self-care

Last but certainly not least, don't forget about taking care of yourself during your paternity leave. Remember, you can't pour from an empty cup.

• Get enough rest: Take naps when you can, and try to maintain a somewhat regular sleep schedule.
• Eat well: Proper nutrition will help you keep up with the demands of new parenthood.
• Find moments for yourself: Whether it's a quick shower, a short run, or a few minutes of quiet time with a book.

Taking care of yourself will help you be a better partner and father, so don't feel guilty about it. A happy, healthy dad is a gift to the whole family.

Closing thoughts

So, dads, paternity leave isn't just about being "on leave" — it's a unique chance to support your partner, learn, and connect with your child. Use these few weeks to be a team player and show that parenting is a shared adventure.

By making the most of these moments, you'll build a connection and teamwork that will carry forward, even when life speeds up again. Enjoy this precious time — it will be gone before you know it!

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This article was first published in theAsianparent.