Relationship with wedding couple far outweighs venue cost, financial status when it comes to angbao: AsiaOne poll

What's the biggest factor that determines how much we put in a wedding red packet?

The guest's relationship with the bridal couple, it seems.

In AsiaOne's recent poll of 836 Singapore-based users on the topic of wedding angbao rates, the answer came up top, sweeping over half (51.7 per cent) of total responses recorded.

The next most important factor was the price of the venue (21.9 per cent).

Interestingly, although this was true for the women polled, for men, the second-biggest factor was their financial status (19.3 per cent), followed by the price of the venue (18.8 per cent).

Given that there has been talk this year's wedding red packet rates have increased, with a Moneysmart comparison indicating prices of banquet tables at five-star hotels Capella and St Regis ranging between $250 and $370 and between $250 and $290 respectively for a weekend wedding, we also asked respondents that.

Not surprisingly, three in four people felt the rates have gone up (75.1 per cent).

According to Moneysmart, venue charges mostly dipped or stayed constant in 2020 compared to 2019 due to the pandemic. 

For five-star hotels, rates appeared to be even lower in 2021, with the figure hovering at the $2,200 mark per table ($220 per pax).

For 39-year-old Brandon Ong, who works in finance, the amount which he gives does depend on the relationship that he has with the bridal couple. But making sure that the couple can at least cover the cost of his seat is also important to him.

"At least don't make them lose money, that's my main principle," said Brandon when it comes to giving angbao.

He shared that before the pandemic, the most he had given was $500, "to close friends who had their wedding at Capella".

Although he is among the 24.9 per cent of respondents who said that wedding angbao rates have not risen, he admitted it's because "it's been a while" since he last went to a wedding.

A majority of respondents in AsiaOne's poll similarly shared that they do adhere to the "market rate" for wedding angbaos (64 per cent).

22.1 per cent would give an amount that is above market rate. The rest (13.9 per cent) would wrap an amount that is below market rate.

When it comes to the biggest amount that people would put in a wedding red packet, the majority (34.8 per cent) would give an amount of $100 to $200, similar to the costs at most restaurants and mid-tier wedding venues.

23.8 per cent polled would give an amount between $200 and $300. This figure falls within the range of what high-end hotel venues such as Shangri-La, W Singapore, Intercontinental and Mandarin Oriental charge this year, based on online guides.

Only a small number (11.5 per cent) of users polled shared that the most they'd give is less than $100.

One such respondent, Lu Jiaquan, 34, clarified that his answer was based on the past two years in a pandemic where weddings either faced severe restrictions or were not allowed at all.

This was a time when Zoom viewing parties replaced actual in-person wedding events, he shared.

"But still, a lot of us still wanted to give our blessings to the wedding couple," said Jiaquan. "So some of us gave $80 to $100," he shared.

Jiaquan indicated in the poll that he normally follows the "market rate", "which is $100 to $150 based on those I've been invited to".

Seniors and under-18s more likely to give more than $500

And it seems seniors as well as the younger set have a more generous outlook when it comes to wedding red packets.

One in four of those below 25 indicated that they would give amounts of "more than $500" at a wedding (24.6 per cent). The majority (33.8 per cent), however, would give no more than $100. 

Among the more generous under-25s, a surprising 41.2 per cent of those aged below 18 indicated that they would give more than $500.

For those aged 55 and above, this group makes up 19.3 per cent, just as many as those who would give an amount between $100 and $150.

Some, however, noted that there may be other concerns and other ways in which we can contribute to a couple's big day.

Felicity (not her real name), 38, shared that the maximum amount she has given was $250.

"If it's a close friend I may contribute in other ways beyond the monetary, such as doing the flowers and decor," she shared.

Felicity, who works in the education sector, acknowledged that as she has two young children, "it is hard to splurge on angbaos".

Sharing his personal experience from his wedding 10 years ago, Brandon said that most people "give whatever they feel like".

"Some people don't see it that you should cover the couple's cost. More often than not, they don't bother about covering and they give what they want," said Brandon, indicating that elderly relatives and those younger or less financially able would usually give "less than market rate".

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"And you cannot blame them because who asked the couple to go for an expensive banquet?" he added.

Echoing the sentiment shared by Brandon, Jiaquan agreed that couples should not expect guests to cover their costs at a wedding.

"It's a give-and-take situation. The bottom line is, wedding couples should plan with prudence in terms of wedding expenses. They cannot expect wedding guests to offset their cost."

Felicity offered another view: "It's not about whether couples should expect it but because it has become the norm in our culture or society that it is now natural to expect it."

As a result, receiving an invitation from not-so-close friends or acquaintances often leads to an uncomfortable question for her.

"Can I afford to attend this wedding when it will cost $200 per pax?"

candicecai@asiaone.com