Mums, do you find yourself ignoring your phone's bedtime reminder and eager to tuck the kids in at night to get a few hours to yourself and catch up on your favourite show?
If so, you may be one of the many parents who struggle with revenge bedtime procrastination (RBP).
In a nutshell, RBP is a person's decision to sacrifice sleep for leisure or personal time that is driven by a daily schedule lacking in free time.
The term bedtime procrastination was first introduced in 2014 in a research paper from the Netherlands.
But in 2020, at the start of the pandemic, the word "revenge" was added in China and it went viral on social media, describing how people would voluntarily stay up past their bedtime for some personal time.
According to the Sleep Foundation, revenge bedtime procrastination has three main defining features:
What does revenge have to do with staying up a few hours after bedtime?
Well, most experts believe that bedtime procrastination is seen as a way of getting revenge on those daytime hours when we have little or no more free time.
Picture this: After a very busy day at work and taking care of your family, you look forward to binge-watching your favourite TV show or watching funny TikTok videos at the end of the day, when the chores are done and everyone else has gone to bed.
With all of our responsibilities at work and putting our family's needs taking most of our time on a daily basis, what's a few hours of less sleep at night if it means we get some control over our day and we get to do what we want and enjoy?
Yes, take that, world!
Some people claim to use these late-night or early-morning hours to catch up on hobbies or engage in more energy-intensive activities (this author, for one, believes it's more productive to write in her journal at night when work is done and the kids are fast asleep).
However, most people choose to focus on "mindless" activities or things that don't require a great deal of effort such as online shopping, scrolling through social media posts, reading and watching shows on streaming services and other things that people enjoy doing when they are putting off sleep.
According to a study, students and women were most likely to engage in bedtime procrastination. People with an evening chronotype (also commonly referred to as night persons or night owls) are inclined to stay up later, which may manifest as bedtime procrastination.
RBP can also be spotted in people with super demanding jobs, those who pull long hours, and, no surprise here - parents who hardly get a moment to themselves during the day.
Sleep procrastination also appears to be more frequent in people who procrastinate in other aspects of their life.
So, most of us would think, "It's just a couple of hours of me-time. What's the big deal?"
Well, staying up late occasionally is generally harmless and will not have a major impact on your sleep schedule, health, or overall well-being.
However, the problem arises when RBP becomes a habit.
Those late nights and wee hours in the morning can eventually lead to sleep deprivation. And when you're short on sleep, your mind and body miss out on that much-needed recharge and that can lead to a bunch of not-so-great health issues, such as:
Lack of sleep at night can also increase the possibility of daytime sleepiness, which can harm productivity, make one more irritable and have difficulty regulating their emotions. You know when after a late night out or a hangover, you get a terrible migraine and a short
Now that we've established that RBP is not a good habit to have, what can we do to avoid it?
If you're struggling with RBP, here are some things you can try to snap out of it:
Whoever said that sleep is for the weak is probably just suffering from the irritability brought about by sleep deprivation.
Sleep is important to recharge your body and your mind. There are a lot of chronic diseases that are brought about by a lack of sleep and rest.
If you're aiming for better sleep, the key is to make it a priority. Keep in mind why hitting the hay at the right time matters.
When you wake up feeling refreshed, you'll have the energy you need to tackle your to-dos, and maybe more time for some self-care.
Practising good sleep habits can affect the quality and amount of sleep you get.
Try having a consistent bedtime and wake-time, skipping alcohol and lessening caffeine in the afternoon and evening.
Also avoid exercising at night as it will keep your heart rate up.
How do you usher in downtime? By creating a comfortable sleep environment.
Whether it's taking a warm shower, doing your skin care routine or dimming the lights and playing some relaxing music, these relaxing rituals can make going to sleep more appealing.
So inviting that may counteract your desire to sacrifice sleep for leisure activities.
Admit it, you sleep with your phone at an arm's reach every night. But according to research, the blue light emitted by these gadgets blue light messes with your body's ability to prepare for sleep because it blocks a hormone called melatonin that makes you sleepy.
So it would be best if you turn off the devices at bedtime, or at least place it away from you and turn off the autoplay feature on your streaming service and skip scrolling through social media sites while lying in bed.
We get it. We all need our me time. But it shouldn't be at the expense of much-needed sleep.
First off, since having a busy schedule or having no time for yourself is often the root of RBP, you need to be more mindful and assess how you're using your time.
Are there activities or responsibilities that you can let go of or delegate to someone else?
If you believe that everything in your schedule is time well spent, then you won't resent losing those precious hours of your day and won't feel the urge to seek revenge by staying up late.
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Now, since you're cutting things out of your schedule, try swapping out those not-so-fun things with time to dive into stuff you truly enjoy.
We get it, it's not always a walk in the park, especially if you're a parent or working pro with commitments to juggle. But finding those pockets of joy is worth it and less likely to make you feel resentful about your time.
Talk to your spouse, a friend or a family member about stepping in and taking over some of your responsibilities so you can have a few hours to yourself to indulge in a well-deserved me time.
RBP is common in parents and many of us have been guilty of it from time to time.
The good news is that you can take steps to reclaim your sleep and make those late-night hours work for you, not against you.
So the next time you find yourself staying up past your bedtime, ask yourself why you're doing it and what you can do to manage it.
By understanding the reasons behind this behaviour and finding better ways to unwind, you can enjoy more restful nights and wake up feeling ready to tackle the day.
Remember, it's all about balance and making the most of your precious hours. So, here's to healthier sleep and waking up refreshed - you've got this!
This article was first published in theAsianparent.
