She was pregnant and found out she had breast cancer: 'What's going to happen to my unborn child?'

To mark Breast Cancer Awareness Month, we speak to inspiring Singaporeans about their journey in battling and overcoming cancer.

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The date Aug 25, 2021, is likely to live long in the memory of Faith Lim.

It was the day the independent financial advisor was diagnosed with Stage 2 ER-positive/HER2-positive breast cancer.

The then 34-year-old had found out she was pregnant barely three months ago.

According to the Singapore Cancer Society, roughly one in 13 women will get breast cancer in their lifetime.

But what are the odds of being diagnosed with breast cancer while pregnant and during their first trimester?

In an interview with AsiaOne, Faith recalled noticing lumps in her breasts prior to her diagnosis.

However, at that point in time, she was breastfeeding her firstborn, Allyson, and the lumps felt "normal" so she didn't think anything of it.

Regardless, Faith wasn't going to take any chances.

She opted to inform her obstetrician and was scheduled for a scan and biopsy.

Prepared for the worst

Faith recounted that the meeting with the doctor for the test results was actually set at a later date.

But a nurse's call prior to that brought forward her appointment.

"The doctor will see you earlier. Will you be able to make it?" the nurse asked.

While it was never explicitly mentioned that she had breast cancer, Faith wasn't optimistic about her biopsy results.

"I did have this sinking feeling that it wasn't going to be good," the 37-year-old admitted.

On the day of the appointment, Faith and her husband, Shane Cheok, headed to the hospital clinging on to the hope that it wouldn't be a cancer diagnosis.

When asked if she recalled the exact moment the doctor relayed the news, she replied: "Honestly, not really. I broke down upon hearing the news."

It was complete devastation, and she admitted to feeling lost.

But even in her moment of darkness, Faith's priority as a mum and selflessness shone through.

Upon regaining her composure, she found the capacity to direct her thoughts to how the diagnosis might affect her pregnancy.

"What is going to happen to my unborn child?" the worried mother wondered.

Cancer treatment and childbirth

This was going to be a battle, for both Faith and her unborn child.

While the recommended treatment was to undergo a mastectomy (surgery to remove one or both breasts) followed by chemotherapy, she was uncomfortable with this option.

Faith told AsiaOne that going under the knife was not an option, saying that general anesthesia "can be harmful" to the baby. 

At no point did she want to put her child's health at risk.

The alternative was for her to undergo chemotherapy sessions during her pregnancy.

And while the latter option wasn't risk-free either (there was a possibility of miscarriage), it was what Faith went for.

She was going to tackle her breast cancer head on and under no circumstance was she going to consider losing her second child.

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Faith began chemotherapy during the start of her second trimester and dealing with the side effects of cancer treatment and pregnancy took a toll on her.

"It was tiring and I couldn't eat much at that point," she said.

At times, she couldn't tell if her nausea was a result of the pregnancy or cancer treatment.

The physical pains, such as the insertion of needles during the sessions, were just one aspect of the challenges she faced. 

She also shed light on the often less talked about mental struggle.

During one of her chemotherapy sessions, it struck her that she was one of the youngest patients in the room.

When asked about how she coped with this jarringly painful observation, Faith wasn't shy to admit that she allowed herself to "wallow in self-pity".

She added: "After all, it is a cancer diagnosis right?"

"But I can't change it. I only have these moments [with my family] that I can cherish and look forward to."

Two weeks after the first chemotherapy session, Faith's hair began to fall.

Despite mentally preparing herself beforehand, it was still a "depressing" feeling to see clumps of hair on the pillow, she said.

Before the second session, Faith decided to shave her head and her supportive husband followed suit.

She ended up going for four sessions, once every three weeks, prior to her scheduled early childbirth in early 2022.

This was to allow for more targeted chemotherapy post-delivery.

Showered with love

Whether it was childbirth or cancer treatment, Faith had a lot on her plate.

So she consciously made an effort to live life one day at a time.

"If you think further, you end up worrying even more, so I reframed my mindset," she said.

Despite successfully giving birth to Ellysia who was born premature at 32 weeks in January 2022, her battle with breast cancer continued.

And throughout the ordeal, her loving husband did his best part as a supportive partner and father to their children.

She added: "He's the pillar of support and strength in this family."

Even their eldest daughter played her part in being there for her.

It wasn't easy for Allyson to comprehend what was going on at that time.

The young girl was brought to tears at the sight of her mum with her head shaved.

"We believe in being open, honest and vulnerable [with our children]," Faith said.

Simplifying the grim situation, the young parents relayed to their firstborn that Faith was sick, and the medicine will lead to hair loss.

"I have broken down in front of her before and you would be surprised [that] she is the one who comforted me.

"They [children] are more mature than we think they are," she said.

Three years after her diagnosis, Faith considers herself to be in remission, though she isn't out of the woods yet.

According to SingHealth, patients have to go for an annual clinic exam and mammogram from the fifth year of remission and beyond.

As for mental scars, those are a separate battle that she's still learning to grasp.

Faith mentioned: "I'm grateful to be alive and I'm stronger than yesterday. But when check-ups are near or I'm going to the hospital, that's when the fear creeps in.

"You never know whether there will be a relapse."

Having gone through the ordeal of breast cancer, she has reangled her priorities in life, with family taking a more central role nowadays.

At her previous job in the non-profit sector, she worked regular office hours. But Faith realised that this did not allow her to spend enough quality time with her family.

"If I die, will I regret not working hard [enough] at my workplace or not spending time with my family?" Faith asked.

With a smile on her face, the mother of two said: "After all, your kids are only young once."

ALSO READ: Woman gets Stage 4 cancer diagnosis after wedding, shares recovery journey to encourage others

amierul@asiaone.com