Sheila Sim's daughter started swimming at 3 months old. Can your kids do the same?

Some children love the water more than others. Case in point: homegrown model-turned-actress Sheila Sim’s daughter Layla Woo. The 38-year-old, who often shares candid snippets of her personal life on social media, took to Instagram to share an adorable video of Layla’s swimming class.

In it, Layla can be seen swimming confidently, smiling at the camera and even opening her eyes underwater. All of which, in our humble opinion, are awe-inspiring and quite a feat for a soon-to-be two-year-old. We couldn’t help but feel like it was a heartwarming and inspiring sight for us. It shows us that just like everything else in life, consistent effort pays off.

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Sheila accompanied the post with a heartfelt note: “This little mermaid has always loved water, even as a newborn. That gave us great confidence to send her to a swimming class at the very early age of three months old. She’s shown interest and water confidence right from the first class.”

Now, before we start comparing how early our kids master swimming, we should recognise the fact that there’s no fixed timing for children to learn. It’s never too early or late for them to start swimming lessons.

Importantly, not all kids share the same level of affinity with the waters as Layla. For the kids who’re afraid of the waters, the condition is known as aquaphobia, says psychotherapist Wendy Goh of Hope Psychological Services.

Although the reason behind why kids develop this fear vary from person to person, Wendy shares that some of the common causes of aquaphobia could include, “parents passing down a fear of water unintentionally or a traumatic experience around water. For example, some parents may think that a child can outgrow the fear if they ‘force’ him or her into the water.”

“Most of the time, it has to do with the information and experiences that [the children] receive,” adds Tan Jian Yong, Managing Director of happy fish. “It takes time and guidance for children to make sense of the conversation they heard or the video they watched. The lack of guidance can lead to children becoming fearful of water.”

Which is why proper communication and guidance between parents and children become crucial. Here, the two experts share what to know about aquaphobia, tips on how to help kids build water confidence and the do’s and don’ts that parents should keep in mind.

Too little water experience can breed fear

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It’s not uncommon for parents to be protective of their little ones. But did you know that inadequate exposure to the waters could do more harm than good for the kids?

“Some careful parents even shower their children with a special shower cap so that their face will never get wet,” shares Jian Yong. “The lack of experience with water may lead to fear of water.”

A positive and supportive environment creates a good experience

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For parents who send their children for swimming classes, Wendy advises to “stay close and support them.” This will help to make the kids feel comfortable enough to “take new steps”, stepping out of their own comfort zone to grow more accustomed to the water.

Bear in mind that you’ll want to make the trips to the swimming pool as fun as possible for the children to develop a positive association, adds Wendy.

Another thing to remember? Our mood. Jian Yong recommends to “always put on your best smile and be encouraging and supportive when teaching our children to swim. Our emotions can affect children easily.”

Fear doesn’t disappear overnight

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“Aquaphobia will not disappear on its own unless there is professional guidance,” tells Wendy. The solution? Parents will have to address the issue sooner than later.

Wendy advises parents to “engage the right swimming coach to teach their children to develop their confidence in water.”

Sometimes, we don’t know the best solutions

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When in doubt, it’s probably best to leave it to the professionals. “Our programme allows children at different levels of confidence to develop their skills by exploring their boundaries,” shares Jian Yong.

“For example, we teach children how to get in and out and grab the wall to move around the pool in the beginning for them to stay in control. Children who are afraid of putting their face into the water will go through a step-by-step process — first by submerging their chin, mouth, nose and eventually the entire face, from one second to five seconds.”

Last but not least, don’t do these

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For the things that parents shouldn’t do, Wendy suggests the following:

• Never force the kids into the water when they are not ready
• Don’t compare (e.g. “Why so and so can do it but you can’t?”)
• Do not ignore a child emotions needs and invalidate them
• Don’t yell and blame the kids if they are scared
• Don’t leave a child unattended in the pool
• Don’t call them names or say things (e.g. “Why are you so timid, why are you so soft and stupid?”)

 This article was first published in The Singapore Women's Weekly.