PUBLISHED ONOctober 18, 2019 9:33 AMByKimberly Anne LimWhy I Do What I Do is an original AsiaOne series where we showcase people with uncommon professions and what it takes to get there.
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With much of our time spent working and stuck in the same social circles, finding The One can seem like a daunting task. Not to mention all the picture-perfect couples on social media giving us #couplegoals and FOMO all at once.
But don't despair just yet — Dolly Chua is here to help.
The 32-year-old is a matchmaker with four years of experience under her belt and is an expert on all things romance.
MATCHMAKING — IT'S BOTH AN ART AND A SCIENCE
For those who are unfamiliar, the term "matchmaker" may conjure up images of aunties who whip prospective brides into shape and act as mediators for the bride and groom's families.
Matchmaking may be a profession as old as time but modern matchmakers take a far more sophisticated approach than their ancient counterparts.
Algorithms sort through thousands of client profiles, scan information such as life values, financial habits and personal preferences, then surface potential matches to matchmakers like Dolly.
But the process of setting up a couple is an art, just as much as it is a science. According to Dolly, it takes a matchmaker's human touch to see things that the algorithm doesn't.
"It's more than just similarities, it's also about complementary points. They have to understand and have respect for each other's values," she adds, explaining that she meets every client face-to-face to better understand them.
Face-to-face meetings also have the benefit of weeding out people who lie on their profile. The most common? Men who add a few extra inches to their height.
THROW AWAY YOUR CHECKLISTS
Besides understanding who her clients are, a large part of Dolly's job involves understanding their preferences in a partner and ridding them of common dating misconceptions.
"A lot of clients come to us telling us what they want. They will say 'I want someone to run with me' or 'I want someone who enjoys cooking' but all these traits don't actually equate to a long-lasting relationship," she says.
Contrary to popular belief, checklists of what you want in a partner can actually be detrimental to finding love.
Dolly explains her aversion to them, saying: "You might have a great guy right in front of you and the moment he doesn't tick on all of your boxes you're like, 'not my guy'. If you want to write something down, use it as a guide, as a compass. But allow yourself to explore beyond that."
And then there are the requests that are impossible to check off.
Dolly says that her oddest request to date has to be a client who was looking for a virgin.
"I said to him, 'How do you think we can verify this point?' And he couldn't answer it," she recalls.
Digging deeper, she figured out that the client was looking for a woman who was more traditional, conservative and family-oriented.
In fact, she managed to set him up on several dates and eventually found him a suitable match.
WHEN CLIENTS GET A LITTLE TOO FRIENDLY
Dealing with clients who are looking for love is certainly not a walk in the park. In fact, it can get a little awkward when they turn their affections to her instead.
"It feels weird to say it myself," Dolly says with a bashful laugh, "We are always very understanding and patient towards them and we spend a lot of time with our clients, so sometimes they can get the wrong idea."
The most common "courting rituals" involve texting her, asking her out under the guise of discussing their dating profile and sending her food.
Some clients even overstep the boundaries and try to pry into her personal life.
But Dolly takes it all in stride and remains professional, redirecting the focus to finding the client a match (that isn't her).
IT'S A JOURNEY
Dolly's job is an unconventional one and she even candidly admits that it may not be the first choice of career for most people.
When she made the career switch after five years as a pre-school educator, Dolly was initially apprehensive and full of doubt.
But now she's glad that she took the leap.
"The moment I started, I never once looked back. Four years on, and I'm (still) loving it."
The best part of her job? Cheesy as it may sound, it's seeing her clients happy.
"When they come in, some of them might feel not very confident or they don't feel very attractive. Because I see them on this journey, I see the fulfilment that they get from coming to us and that is my reward."
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