Tips to live your best life as a 'self-partnered' woman in Singapore
PUBLISHED ONNovember 08, 2019 8:06 AM
Emma Watson came out yesterday to say she’s “self-partnered”. No, it’s not any kinky s**t—it just means being single.
The Harry Potter actress spoke to British Vogue about being 30 and how it comes with certain expectations.
“I was like, ‘Why does everyone make such a big fuss about turning 30? This is not a big deal’.
“Cut to 29, and I’m like, ‘Oh my God, I feel so stressed and anxious.
“And I realise it’s because there is suddenly this influx of subliminal messaging around.
“If you have not built a home, if you do not have a husband, if you do not have a baby, and you are turning 30, and you’re not in some incredibly secure, stable place in your career, or you’re still figuring things out…There’s just this incredible amount of anxiety.”
She added, “…It took me a long time, but I’m very happy [being single].”
And honestly, there is nothing wrong with being single. In fact, the single life can be fulfilling.
Just think about it: there’s no one to fight over the blanket with you at night, you have extra cash to spend on yourself because you don’t need to buy gifts for anniversaries… well, there’s a lot more.
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Think you’re missing out on sex? There are ways to pleasure yourself.
So, instead of thinking of all the reasons why you need a boyfriend now, think of living your best life as a singleton.
After all, Singles’ Day is coming (November 11) and it’s time to celebrate your relationship status.
Here are tips on living it up as a single woman in Singapore.
STOP CHASING A DREAM AND START LIVING REALITY
It’s so easy to get wrapped up in an ideal — something that you think would make everything better.
If you had a partner, you’d do more. Go out more. See more.
You easily put your future in the hands of someone imaginary, assuming that once you find ‘the one’, everything will fall into place.
It definitely will not be the case.
Sorry to burst that bubble, but the only person who can make you complete is you. Which is actually really awesome!
Because it means your happiness will never depend on someone else. It’s always in your own hands.
Rather than wait for someone else to come along, live in reality instead. See your life as it is now, fulfilled and whole.
Easier said than done right? Keep reading…
LOVE YOURSELF JUST AS YOU ARE, NO PLUS ONE NEEDED
The fast-track way to slaying at being single is first accepting that you are single.
Sounding easier than it is, but being happy without someone else around you is the key core value you need to master.
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It’s time you enjoy your alone time — and that means enjoy doing things by yourself, for yourself.
Go watch a movie, get a massage or while away the afternoon reading a book at the cafe.
It’s time you realise that no man can make you complete.
Actually, to be able to love someone else you must first love yourself.
This is the healthiest way to then enter into any new relationship, having realised you’re okay alone and you’re happy alone too.
Loving yourself just as you are is the crux of being happy single and then, happy in a relationship too.
ACCEPT THAT BEING SINGLE ISN'T A 'NEGATIVE'
This is darn important to your self-improvement. For some reason (particularly at family gatherings), being single is seen as a bad thing.
Unless you’re swanning around arm-in-arm with some perfect male, you’ve got a defect. That’s not true, FYI.
Do not allow other people’s opinions or ideals to make you feel pressured into needing a man, or make you feel that without one, you have an issue.
In fact, being single is an advantage.
It means you can spend time working on yourself — focusing on your future, your wants and needs and not settling for anything less than what you believe you deserve.
Don’t hate on the single life. Cherish it.
DO EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT, WHEN YOU WANT IT
Yoga at 9 pm? Why not. Takeout at 1 am just because? Sure. A weekend spent entirely in bed or binge-watching Netflix? Go for it.
There is something so infinitely precious about only having yourself to worry about.
Doing what you please and doing what you love are surefire ways to be happy about being single.
Once you do find someone (which you will), you’ll soon regret not making the most of all your free single time.
FIND A NEW HOBBY/HONE A NEW SKILL
During all this single free time, start feeling accomplished and productive by learning something new.
It can be anything you wish — from a craft to a new exercise class, whatever you want to try, now is the time to do it.
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It can be something as simple as downloading an app to help you learn a new language, or trying to meditate on your commute to work, or learning how to play the guitar from Youtube — it doesn’t have to be something that costs a lot or usurps your precious free time.
However, if you’re in the mood for some interaction, go for classes and workshops with other like-minded individuals.
That way, you’d have a safe place to socialise, make new friends, have fun and pick up something new. Win-win.
HIT CTRL + DELETE ON ANY CURRENT MEN THAT YOU KNOW, DEEP DOWN, ARE NO GOOD
For the single girls who have some men hanging around them — you know who you are — now is the time to delete.
Sorry to say, but if he isn’t that interested to make you his girl, then he isn’t worth any of it. Period.
Sure, he provides you with some attention and company, but you are worth much more than that.
Besides, while you’re focusing your attention on the guy and the ‘relationship’ that is not going anywhere, you are unknowingly warding off the decent ones.
CREATE A SOULMATE MOOD BOARD
While you’re kicking butt at being single, it’s fair to say you may still want to settle down with someone in the future.
So how do you get ready to find someone?
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This sounds a little cringy, but mood boards are a fab way of projecting what you’re after into the universe.
Given the laws of attraction too, mood boards do help you bring about what you’re focused on.
So, focus on the kind of person you want to attract into your life. It’s that easy.
You can use images, quotes, magazine clippings — whatever you so desire — to create yourself a mood board.
Make it positive, make it true to yourself and put it somewhere in your room that you can see every day.
Now sit back, and relish in your best life.
This article was first published in CLEO Singapore.