Unexpected struggles I faced after losing 20kg that no doctor will tell you about

Battling the bulge is one of the most common pains people struggle with — especially in a food haven like Singapore where delicious grub is literally one click away.

That's probably why everyone loves a successful dieting story: They're real-world examples that shedding the fat is possible with enough discipline and determination.

On major online platforms, weight loss communities are thriving as members swap success stories and share tips on how to keep one's waistline from expanding.

Also on such platforms, people gripe about common side-effects of losing weight, such as loose skin and stretch marks and remind one another that svelte models on magazine covers are but an airbrushed fantasy.

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If you've undergone a fitness transformation yourself though, you'll know that the unexpected changes resulting from an altered lifestyle are more than just skin-deep.

However, deeper psychological struggles are not as often shared about because these observations can feel very personal.

Between 2017 and 2018, I lost approximately 20 kilos in weight, dropping from 96kg to 75kg as a result of diet and exercise.

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A year on, I was reflecting on my journey when I came to a startling realisation that I too face post-weight loss struggles that I'm still trying to overcome.

Wondering if there was any validity to what I'm experiencing, I turned to Yan Yin Phoi, practicing dietician and founder of The Thoughtful Dietitian for input.

NOT ABLE TO EAT A MEAL COMFORTABLY UNLESS SOMETHING GREEN IS ON IT

Like many others who have also lost weight, my relationship with food will always be a work in progress and I know of influencers who've shared that they're unable to eat in public because they're afraid of being judged.

However, I noticed a strange quirk when it comes to my eating habits. I'm extremely uncomfortable with having nothing green on my plate and will actively avoid dishes that do not contain any leafy greens.

Examples would be fried chicken, prata or char kway teow, and I'll even add my own salad mix if I'm able to.

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This habit has sometimes become a nuisance in social situations and it might be a symptom of orthorexia — a medical condition in which the sufferer systematically avoids specific foods in the belief that they are harmful, or an obsession with eating foods that one considers healthy.

According to Phoi, my obsession with having greens on my plate stems from the perception that healthy or balanced meals tend to contain something green.

Others who suffer from something similar might feel uncomfortable if foods are all carbs, are very high in fat, high in sugar, or are "junk food".

Phoi's advice is to avoid categorising food as "good" or "bad", but as food that one consumes "everyday" or "'sometimes".

A healthy diet is a balanced one, with occasional indulgences in moderation. And just because you indulge once in a while does not mean your health will be ruined, she said.

BODY IMAGE ISSUES

Think body image issues are something we all grow out of once puberty is over? Well, I have news for you.

Since I dropped from a size 20 to a size 10 within a year, I still don't recognise myself in the mirror sometimes but whenever I do look at my reflection, nit-picking on parts of my body and comparing it with others is something I have to actively stop myself from doing.

This is very common amongst overweight individuals, said Phoi, even though she stressed that health can be attained at various sizes.

While being overweight is associated with many health issues such as diabetes, heart disease, stroke and cancer, a skinny person of normal BMI (body mass index) may be stricken with ailments as well if they do not watch their diet or live a healthy lifestyle.

That said, overweight individuals should still engage in a healthy lifestyle, although they can gain support from communities like "Health At Every Size", an inclusive movement that celebrates body diversity.

BECOMING DEFENSIVE WHEN GIVEN WEIGHT LOSS ADVICE

Although I successfully managed to drop and keep the weight off, I never considered myself an expert on losing weight because I'm admittedly no trained professional.

However, I've gotten so attuned to my bodily changes and eating habits that I sometimes find myself becoming unintentionally defensive whenever I'm given weight loss advice (especially when it's unsolicited).

Whenever people tell me to eliminate carbs or eat at a certain time, I sometimes find my temper a little short because it makes me feel as if they think that they know my body better than I do.

If you're experiencing something similar, Phoi says that this is normal, not just for those struggling with weight issues but all humans.

"Nobody likes being told what to do and everyone likes being right… people probably mean well when they try to correct your eating habits, whether or not they're right," she said.

If you've been given unwanted advice, form your own judgement about whether your method is better and if it is, do it your way while accepting that everyone has differences in beliefs.

THE FEAR OF REGAINING 

Having been overweight since childhood, dropping all that "baby fat" was hands down the best thing I've ever done in my life.

As a result, I'm always reluctant to change entrenched eating habits (like my first point) and exercise routines.

Several times, I've found myself driven to tears by the thought of regaining weight and going back to my old size, and pregnancy is something I don't want to think about anytime soon because of how much work I've put into losing the weight.

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If you've experienced similar fears, Phoi believes that practising mindful eating will help improve your relationship with food — that means eating intuitively and using your senses to savour food.

If you're fixated on calorie counting or following a specific fad diet like keto or eliminating entire food groups, it might have more damage on your psyche than you'd think.

Mindful eating aims to help people be more in tune with how they feel before, during and after meals.

In the long term, as you realise your weight is stable without actively controlling food intake, fears about regaining weight may gradually dissipate, said Phoi.

joeylee@asiaone.com