The results of the Primary School Leaving Examinations (PSLE) are out.

While some parents and children may leave the school smiling jubilantly, it won't be the same for everyone. Let's face it, not every child is going to attain four A-stars.

So as a parent, what must you know about the release of the PSLE results and what should you bear in mind to help your child cope?

Top five things to keep in mind

1. It's not just about you and your expectations  

I think the first thing parents need to understand about the PSLE result release is that it's not their examination.

Granted that you are the parents and possibly have invested a great amount of time, effort and money, from securing a place in a preferred primary school to tuition to staying up with your child, but it is still their examination at the end of the day.

Firstly, analyse the situation. You might have set certain expectations that your child did not meet. But if he performs reasonably well and meets his own expectations, think twice before saying something that might kill his spirit and make him feel lousy. Don't discredit his accomplishment.

If your child fails to perform and you are both disappointed, don't harp on how let down and unhappy you are and how all your efforts have gone to waste.

I'm sure he is feeling terrible as it is so don't add insult to the injury. Don't make it all about you when the one who's worst affected is your child after all.

2. Be the adult in the situation  

PSLE results release is a difficult and challenging period for both parent and child. But it is more difficult for the child. Remember, you have been through so much more in life and have a wealth of experiences but this really is the first major milestone in your child's life.

If you both have massive emotional outbursts, then who's supposed to do the damage control?

However disappointed you feel, save the breaking down for when your child is out of your sight. Be the adult, manage your own emotions then proceed to manage your child's.

Calm him down, say a few reassuring words and think about what to do next. Don't scream and shout or worse, hit your child if they fail to meet expectations. 

On the other hand, if your child did exceptionally well, please be mature enough to congratulate him and teach him humility. Don't pick up your phone and start bragging to everyone in town. Your child is watching you and will follow the example that you set. 

3. Don't compare 

"Your cousin managed to score 260, why can't you do it? You both took the same examination!"

This is a classic example of what you shouldn't be saying to your child. We all know that children have differing abilities as well as circumstances on the day of the examination so please avoid comparison.

Also, if your child did well, there's no need to rapid-fire a round of questions enquiring how all their friends did so you can send out congratulations and condolences. Focus on your child's results for the time being.

4. There are many roads to success 

If you think the PSLE T-Score or the secondary school that they go to is the ultimate indication of how successful their lives will turn out to be, then I urge you to think again.

Many of the four A*, 260 T-scorers that I know are struggling to please their bosses for good appraisals while many of the average scorers are CEOs and Managing Directors.

A single examination is not an accurate reflection of a child's ability or where he will end up in life. Please remember this at all times.

In Singapore's education system, there are options for students who are in the Normal Academic or Normal Technical streams.

These students can still take certain subjects at the Express level, and there are opportunities for them to transfer to the Express stream later on if they perform well.

Additionally, success is not only determined by O-level results. Students in the Normal Academic Stream can go on to Polytechnics through a Poly Foundation Programme, skipping the O Levels entirely.

Similarly, students in the Normal Technical Stream can excel and continue their education at the Institute of Technical Education (ITE), and then progress to a Polytechnic and even university.

It may not be the originally planned route, but with determination, there are always ways to succeed. Every child will have a place in a secondary school, even if they have a low T-score.

In rare cases where a child receives "U" grades, it might be worth assessing if they are ready for secondary school or if there are unaddressed needs that need to be considered.

5. Things don't always go as planned 

Sometimes, even if your child really does his best, things do go wrong. As mentioned, and I would like to emphasise that a single examination is never a true reflection of a child's ability.

Your child may have suffered from a panic attack during the examination, he may have felt unwell, experienced a mental block or pretty much anything could have happened.

Things that are happening at home can also affect the child's performance so please be very mindful. If you are going through a divorce, are facing a financial crisis or if you discover you have a health problem, please try your best not to let your child know about it during this period.

But because we plan things in a certain way and they don't always go as planned, if your child has to face such circumstances, you must remember that it will affect his results and that's not his or her fault in any way! 

Beyond grades: A compassionate approach to PSLE results release and parenting

In conclusion, many parents are extremely tense during the PSLE results release because they use their child's performance in the examination as a yardstick of their parenting success. Please remember that the PSLE is about your child, not you.

Please remember that during the period of the PSLE results release, your child is extremely vulnerable and the things that you say could leave him or her scarred for life.

In worst cases, you might drive your child to do something rash and impulsive. You do not want to end up with a depressed child or lose your child altogether, because of one failed examination. There's more to life than grades!

PSLE results release 2023: What you need to know

Result slips and certificates

• Your child's PSLE result slip and examination certificate will be delivered through the school, ensuring a smooth and efficient process.
• If your child has been awarded a grade for at least one PSLE subject, they will receive a PSLE certificate. Please note that ungraded subjects will not be reflected on the examination certificate.
• In the event of any suspected examination rule or regulation breaches, the Singapore Examinations and Assessment Board (SEAB) may withhold your result slip and examination certificate. Rest assured, this is done pending the outcome of an investigation. Once the investigation concludes, SEAB will determine whether to issue your result slip and examination certificate.

Understanding PSLE scores

• Your child's PSLE score is derived from their overall performance in all subjects, excluding Higher Chinese, Higher Malay, and Higher Tamil Language.
• It's essential to review the personal particulars printed on their examination certificate. These details are based on the information verified by the parent or guardian during their PSLE registration.

Requesting amendments and reprints

• Should there be any amendments to your personal particulars, please notify your school by Dec 15, 2023 to request a reprint of your examination certificate. Kindly ensure that the request is made before the deadline, as requests received after may not be considered.
• Please note that an administrative charge of $50 is payable for each request for a reprint.
• When requesting an amendment and reprint, the original examination certificate must be returned to the school in exchange for the reprinted version.

Digitised results for convenience

• In today's digital age, SEAB understands the need for convenience. Therefore, duplicate copies of result slips and examination certificates are not issued. Instead, digitised PSLE results are available.
• To access your digitised PSLE results, visit the official SEAB website at seab.gov.sg.

Wishing you all the best for your upcoming results.

ALSO READ: A comprehensive guide to PSLE evaluation and score calculations

This article was first published in theAsianparent.