'You're too skinny in this video, the next video you're too fat': Cosplayer Rurusama on being affected by brutal comments

Social media has made it possible for people to express their views readily, but it can be all too easy to forget that you're interacting with real people through your screen.

Cosplayer and content creator Rurusama appeared on the latest episode of Jean Danker's R U Okay? podcast and discussed some of the negativity that comes with being a public figure.

"I think the biggest thing about social media is that you're putting yourself on a platform where people are open to criticise even though — I wouldn't say that they have no right to, but — they shouldn't be," the 24-year-old said.

"If you're a girl on the internet, some people will definitely comment on your looks, your body, how your feet look like, how your hands look like. Why do you have weird ears? Why do you have a weird mouth?"

People leave "oddly specific" comments even when Rurusama shares videos unrelated to her looks. 

She explained: "I could be posting a random rant, and people could be talking about, 'Why does your hair look so ugly today?'"

On days that she already isn't feeling positive, the comments affect her "quite bad".

"I think, for me, most of the comments [I receive] are like, 'You're flat', 'You're too skinny in this video', suddenly in the next video, 'You're too fat, you have gained weight', 'I don't know who'd like [your] face', 'Your dad didn't teach you how to act on the internet'."

One of the most egregious comments she's received read: "I'm surprised your dad didn't rape you."

Jean, 44, visibly cringed at this point and called the comment "disturbing".

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Despite receiving such negativity, Rurusama finds it difficult to talk about it online as her audience mostly consists of men, and they may think she's "trying to attack a gender when [she's] not".

"No matter what, I try not to address it, but if I don't address it, rant to someone, or I keep it inside, I explode," she added.

"I just ended up crying at home for two hours and then I was like, 'Okay, time to make some TikToks again for the same people who just destroyed me two hours ago'."

Rurusama considers dance as one of her escape mechanisms. But posting dance videos on her platforms opens herself up to further comments on her body.

"At least it's a secondary comment, they could say that my dance is shit and that would be the primary comment," she said.

Despite that, Rurusama added that most people do comment positively on her dance videos, and that other women feel empowered seeing fellow woman like Rurusama "doing confident things".

Rurusama spoke to AsiaOne last November and told us that she believes the hate she receives is still "mild" compared to other content creators.

Nevertheless, she takes care of her mental health by not reading too many negative comments.

"I think there's no way to stop people from commenting. It's the internet, no one can say yes or no to certain things," she said then.

"But the only thing as a creator that you can [do] to protect yourself and your mental health is just to stop reading it or actively choose to read the better comments." 

'How did this person find my unit number?'

It's not just online where Rurusama receives hate.

While she lives alone now, which she deems scary for "stalker problems", she once received a death threat sent to her parents' home when she still lived with them.

"I read it, and I was like, 'Okay, how did this person find the address to my house and also the unit number?'," she pondered.

"It's easy to know where someone lives in Singapore, but it's not easy to know exactly which unit it is. That's why it was so scary at that point of time."

At that time, she didn't respond, and subsequently received a second death threat.

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While she was in Japan for an internship, a man even showed up to her parents' home asking for her when her grandmother opened the door.

As her family lived in a gated condominium, Rurusama wondered how the man had even reached the apartment, and discovered after checking security footage that he had taken the stairs up instead of the lift.

In her interview with AsiaOne, Rurusama told us that she even received a threatening message at an event she attended.

She was in the toilet when someone claiming to be at the same place threatened to "do harm" to her. In a panic, she called her father and was later accompanied home unscathed. 

"Whether they were like joking or not, I think that it caused me discomfort," she confessed, admitting that it left her quite shaken.

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drimac@asiaone.com

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