'Doctors said I need a miracle to recover': Man, 32, lives in nursing home after stroke 4 years ago

Strokes are typically associated with older people, but Lee Guo Rong suffered a life-threatening stroke when he was just 28. 

"I was playing computer games at home when I had a really bad headache and began drooling," Lee, now 32, told AsiaOne on Monday (Jan 8) at a nursing home for the severely disabled where he has been living for the past three years.

"I told my friends that I didn't want to play with them anymore, then I turned off my computer and blacked out," he shared.

When Lee regained consciousness three days later, doctors in intensive care told him he had a "mini stroke" — a temporary disruption in blood supply to the brain, known as a transient ischaemic attack.

The news came to a complete shock to Lee, who had no health issues before this brain injury.

After a few months in hospital, Lee was told that he might never regain full function of one side of his body.

"I thought strokes only happened to old people, and I'm so young," he said. "The doctor didn't even know the reason behind why I had it. My family doesn't have it.

"The doctors said I need a miracle to recover."

A few weeks later, Lee was dealt another blow — his wife filed for a divorce.

There were cracks in their marriage before then, Lee said.

But he added that his stroke was the final blow.

"There were already some issues between my wife and I," he said. "After I had the stroke, she asked for a divorce.

"I looked at myself. I couldn't take care of my two-year-old daughter, so I gave up."

Moved to nursing home with less than $1,000 in bank account

Newly-divorced and left without a job, Lee initially lived in a rental condominium after his discharge from hospital.

But with the rent at $2,750 a month, the temporary accommodation, which was also not disability-friendly, was not a long-term solution for him.

Lee said that he tried renting HDB flats, but several landlords had rejected him after finding out about his disability.

With less than $1,000 in his bank account, Lee moved into the nursing home in Serangoon in May 2021, where he is paying a heavily subsidised rate of $10 a month.

But Lee said that living alone in the nursing home during the Covid-19 pandemic, while adjusting to his disability, made him fall into depression.

"I can't move the left half of my body. I can't even button up my shirt," he said. "I felt very useless."

"Apart from the physiotherapy sessions, there's nothing much I can do to get me out of depression," Lee said, though he no longer relies on medication to "help him sleep".

He is now able to walk a few metres with a walking aid, but going unaccompanied to the nearest convenience store — a 10-minute walk away from the nursing home —  is still a far stretch.

"Living here is definitely cheaper than in rental property," Lee said. "But I miss being able to walk and buy my own food."

Speaking to AsiaOne, Lee shared enthusiastically about the delicious meals his friends and ex-boss would bring for him during their visits.

But his smile faded as he revealed how he has only seen his daughter twice in the past three years.

"They're living in Bedok. It's very far for them to visit me," he said. "She doesn't really talk to me."

Before the stroke, Lee was earning around $4,000 as an assistant manager of a company distributing oral care and health products.

Lee said that he now works as a call agent for a transport company for $500 a month.

The loss in earnings after his stroke aside, Lee appreciates that his current job allows him to "work from home", in the nursing home.

"I'm lucky to be alive," he said, adding that he hopes to save enough money to rent a HDB flat after leaving the home.

Signs and symptoms of a stroke

Three in four strokes happen to Singaporeans over the age of 60, according to the Health Promotion Board (HPB), but it can happen at any age.

HPB recommends this simple test to spot the warning signs using the acronym, FAST.

• Face - Is the person's smile uneven?
• Arms - Can they raise both arms and keep them up?
• Speech - Is their speech slurred or unclear?
• Time to call 995 if you see any of these signs.

Other stroke symptoms include a sudden loss of vision, weakness in one or both sides of the body, and difficulty with swallowing, according to Health Hub.

Young people are likely to survive after suffering a stroke, but they face many challenges in improving their quality of life, said Associate Professor Kwah Li Khim, Director of Programmes (Health & Social Sciences) at Singapore Institute of Technology.

Prof Kwah, who conducted a survey on obstacles faced by stroke survivors, told AsiaOne that young people who had a stroke are often at risk for depression, rate their quality of life as "poor or worse than death", and are not able to return to work.

"These problems are exacerbated when the young person with a stroke leaves rehabilitation and cannot adjust to life in the community after the stroke," she added.

Prof Kwah is also an executive committee member of the Singapore National Stroke Association.

The association offers a support network for stroke survivors and caregivers. It supports more than 800 stroke survivors, of whom 28 are aged 40 and younger.

Getting connected with the community in Singapore is one way stroke survivors can do to help with their recovery, according to Prof Kwah.

"There are many stroke survivors out there who are on a similar journey and are willing to help fellow stroke survivors, alongside health professionals," she said.

"It is therefore good for stroke survivors to get in touch with them to stay motivated with their recovery and get support and encouragement along the way."

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chingshijie@asiaone.com