Malaysian woman opens up about domestic abuse, urges victims like her to 'speak up'

No one deserves to be abused, nor stay with an abuser. Some, if not many, are well aware of this fact — even the abused — but yet still struggle to walk away from the situation in no fault of their own.

But some things are inexcusable (read: domestic violence) even if it comes to someone whom you may deem as your ‘life partner’. One woman was finally able to summon her courage in an effort to bring hope to those who need it.

“I have been beaten up and mentally hurt by the one that I thought is my life partner”

It took Belle Loh, a woman in Malaysia, two months to open up about her distressing experience as a victim of domestic violence. 

“Dear all I know I have been silent for quite some time and I would like to share this with everyone,” Loh wrote in a Facebook post (Jul 24). 

The post was accompanied by a series of videos and pictures detailing the abuse incident that allegedly took place on May 27, 2020. 

Loh said she returned home at 10pm on May 27 to find her husband “drunk and high on drugs”. He also “started being aggressive”.

“I have been beaten up and mentally hurt by the one that I thought is my life partner,” she said. 

Apart from the physical abuse inflicted on Loh, Loh’s husband also threw her clothes out of their house.

The corridor was filled with a huge pile of Loh’s clothes strewn across the floor.

In one of the videos uploaded, Loh’s husband could be heard hurling a string of verbally abusive messages which appeared to be directed at Loh’s father. 

“You want to tell me that you want two thousand when your f***ing father doesn’t even earn one thousand? Loser, f***ing f***! Only knows how to do his funny s***. F*** him! This f***ing loser, I’ll kill him!”  

The violence did not end there. According to Loh, her husband has “harassed” her family members and even labelled them as “cheapskate”.

Loh also shared some screenshots of a text message conversation between her and her husband, who wants Loh to return the ring and phone he gifted her.

From their conversation, the couple is presumably looking into a divorce. In the screenshots, it can be seen that her husband had consulted with his lawyer on the division of assets.

“My lawyers said you can’t sell what’s mine,” Loh’s husband warned Loh against keeping or selling the ring. 

According to him, the ring is “a gift on condition” that they are married. Otherwise, Loh will not get to keep it. 

He also backed up his words after further consultation with his lawyer: “If you try to sell it without my approval that is against the law and can be used against you in the case.

“Just give it back along with my phone and you and your dad can get a job and earn that money yourselves,” he said. 

A lifelong trauma

From this harrowing incident, Loh shared: “No women deserve to be beaten up by a man.”

She urged those who are victims of abuse to “please speak up about it because it is not a joke or something that you should be ashamed of".

“Being abused is not something that you could just brush off but it is a lifelong trauma that I have to deal with.”

Simple reporting goes a long way

Since the start of the circuit breaker period, Singapore has reported a 22 per cent increase in reports of family violence-related offences, according to the Singapore Police Force.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse and facing distress, do not hesitate to report such cases to the police. In case of immediate threat, you can call the police at 999 or go to your nearest neighbourhood police station for help. 

You may also contact your nearest Family Service Centre for help, or dial the below helplines if you need someone to talk to:

• AWARE: 1800 777 5555
• Samaritans of Singapore: 1800-221 4444
• Singapore Association for Mental Health: 1800-283-7019 
• Care Corner Counselling Centre (Mandarin): 1800-353-5800

This article was first published in theAsianparent.