This mum of 4 is a caregiver to her cancer-stricken grandma and dad with dementia

At 35, Koh Mei Ting has a lot on her plate. 

Besides her full-time job as an administrative manager, she's also a mother of four and the caregiver of her cancer-stricken grandmother as well as her father, who has vascular dementia. 

In a June 13 video interview with charity Tzu-Chi Foundation, whom Koh's grandmother is a beneficiary of, Koh shared her experience of juggling her various responsibilities.

This includes working from home twice a week so she can keep an eye on her grandmother and father Koh Chon Lee. 

Koh's grandmother contracted skin cancer two years ago. And even though the cancer cells were removed, she suffered a relapse recently. 

Because of her skin cancer, Koh's grandmother has holes in her skin which can bleed if not taken care of properly. Koh has to regularly clean the wound and apply lotion to soothe her grandmother's skin. 

As her grandmother, who has to depend on a walking aid, is reluctant to visit the hospital, medical staff from Tzu-Chi Foundation visit her regularly. 

As for her father, Koh has to regularly engage him in simple mathematics to prevent his condition from deteriorating.

She also made her father download an app on his phone so that she can keep track of his location as he goes out for a walk several times a day. He also carries a card containing his address in case his phone runs out of battery. 

"If we know his whereabouts, we're not so worried about him getting lost," explained Koh. 

"It's important to give him some freedom, because he can't be confined [in the house] forever." 

[embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=joq4bW4IGbs[/embed]

In the evenings, Koh is joined by her children, whom she also has to watch over. Her youngest child is five, and her third child is will be taking his PSLE this year. It wasn't indicated in the video how old her other two kids are.

When asked if she's this busy every evening, Koh nodded and said: "Every day's the same." 

Seeing their mother overwhelmed with responsibilities, Koh's eldest daughter, Sapphire, helps out by picking her younger siblings up from school whenever she's free. 

Before her grandmother goes to sleep at night, Koh makes sure to clean the wounds on the elderly woman's face. As her grandmother's skin is very thin, Koh has to be extra careful not to cause any bleeding. 

"We also make sure that we apply lotion so [her skin] doesn't dry out and crack to form a hole." 

Once her grandmother is asleep, Koh and her children then head home. She returns to her grandma's house every day at 5am to make sure all is good before she prepares to head to work.

"I never thought I'd become a caregiver," said Koh. "I only thought I would have to take care of my children... I never expected that my father [and grandmother] would become like this." 

Although she admits that caregiving is physically and mentally tiring, Koh also finds joy in her responsibilities when she sees her family members happy. 

On the weekends, Koh's younger sister, Mei Qi, also comes to help take care of the family. 

She told Tzu Chi: "I treasure these kinships... they are my parents and grandparents as well. Everyone has to play a part otherwise it'll be too taxing for one person." 

'Moments of joy and love'

Koh's husband also lends a helping hand whenever he can, by offering to take days off work so he can take her father to his medical appointments. 

Said Koh: "I think [caregiving] is a family affair, we do it as a family, as one. Maybe I'm doing more, but they can still be responsible for other things and be part of the journey. They also give me moral and mental support."  

[[nid:688025]]

She felt it was her duty to look after her grandma, considering she had raised her and her siblings.

"Our parents had to work, so she was the one who spent a lot of time with us... She was like a second mum to us," she said. 

"To all the caregivers out there, remember you are not alone. Every day may be challenging, but it is also filled with moments of joy and love.

"Your dedication and care make a significant difference. Please take care of yourselves as well."

AsiaOne reached out to Koh through Tzu-Chi Foundation, but she declined to be interviewed. 

ALSO READ: This Singaporean father had to help his daughter, 30, shower and deal with her menses

claudiatan@asiaone.com