Woman shares about her 'terrible mental state' after getting laid off: 'I can't help but feel I'm not good enough'

She was laid off close to a year after starting her job at a tech start-up, and just one week before her birthday. 

The resulting blow to her self-confidence made her unable to break the news to her family for more than a month. 

Sharing her experience on being retrenched, TikTok user @joeyxpoey laid bare her emotions in a video confessional which she posted on Oct 26.

"It's been more than a month since I was laid off and I haven't really told anyone about it, not even my own family. But I feel like I'm finally ready to talk about it," shared Joeyxpoey, or Joey Ong.

@joeyxpoey let's talk about it #layoff #mentalhealth #tech #startup #web3 ♬ original sound - j👀ey

In the video, which was filmed several weeks ago, Ong shared that on the day when she received the bad news, she was remotely working from the US and her manager had requested to have a one-on-one meeting, but she "didn't think much about it".

"We know the tech industry has been facing layoffs in recent months, but I just never expected it to happen to us," she said.

Her nonchalance was also due to her knowledge that the company had received funding from "huge, reputable companies", and how the media had projected the start-up as "the next big thing".

"I think even my manager was shocked," she shared of the moment she was told the bad news.

In a reply to comments and to AsiaOne's queries, Ong stated that she was let go from the Web 3.0 start-up due to internal restructuring. 

"Company was creating a metaverse platform and I think non-technical roles were affected." And while she knows of other colleagues who were laid off, Ong is uncertain about the actual number.

Besides sharing how it happened, Ong also bravely poured out her feelings on how the incident has taken a toll on her mental health.

Tearing up slightly, Ong shared, "to be very honest, I'm still in my low self-confidence era, I don't feel like doing anything on most days and I still feel very empty inside".

"I know it's not my fault, life happens, right? But I can't help but feel like I'm not good enough," she stated in a moment of raw honesty.

Ong added that she hasn't started applying for jobs because of the fear that it would happen again, revealing her "terrible mental state". 

"I don't even dare to open LinkedIn nowadays, I'm in a terrible mental state but I feel like I'm slowly healing by taking some time off and just trying to do my own things and doing what I like." 

Speaking to AsiaOne, the 29-year-old shared how when she was retrenched, friends she had told "didn't know how to respond", because it was not something they had experience with. 

"I did contemplate sharing my story for a long time because of self-esteem issues. People of my generation tend to tie our jobs to our identity, especially in Asia where our roles and titles have become some sort of a status symbol.

"Moreover, it was difficult to admit the loss of a job I worked hard for, despite not having done anything wrong," added Ong.

Breaking the news to her family, which she did eventually, was tough.

"It was tough initiating the conversation because I know they will be worried for me, especially in this economy where prices are rising and opportunities are declining," said Ong. Little did she know that they had sort of figured out what had happened. "They realised I didn't have my work laptops anymore".

As Ong shared in her video, finances definitely weighed on her mind initially.

"Let's be honest here, I'm living in Singapore, one of the most expensive countries in the world, so my emergency funds are not going to last me very long, because even therapy is expensive," she shared.

The woman added that she is taking the time off "to think about my life and also upskill myself", and she has also taken on part-time jobs that she's always wanted to try, which "minimally pays the bills".

She is also extending a helping hand to those who may be in the same boat. 

"If you're in the same situation as I am, just remember that we are all in this together, and if you ever need someone to speak to, I'm here for you bestie. Fighting, girl!"

Her honest sharing clearly resonated with many viewers, with her video viewed more than 60,000 times.

Among the over 500 comments received, many expressed support and appreciation for how she has bravely opened up about her struggles.

In a video update posted to TikTok on Oct 29, Ong stated how the initial video was filmed "a while ago" and that she is currently in the "acceptance stage" of her grieving process. 

Reiterating the point made in the video about letting others know that "it's okay not to be okay", Ong told AsiaOne that she has been heartened by the responses to her sharing. She has also taken away some "valuable advice" as well on how to cope. 

"I was not expecting the hundreds of comments, to be honest. It was heartening to know that the emotions I was going through were absolutely normal."

"These strangers on the internet have made me count my blessings because many of them are or had been in a worse situation," said Ong, adding that she is in contact with a few of them to see how they can support each other.

candicecai@asiaone.com

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