Having a child is supposed to be a joyful event, but for new mothers, it can also be a stressful one.

And it's no different for celebrities either. Taiwan-born local actress Kate Pang shared in an Instagram post today (Sept 29), that "there are tears people don't see", in regard to having a baby.

Married to Singaporean actor Andie Chen, the 37-year-old recalled her experience of suffering from postnatal depression while taking care of her firstborn son, Aden.

She shared that when Aden was born, she opted to stay with her sister instead of hiring a confinement lady in order to save money.

"I felt miserable every day in confinement because Aden would cry for milk after waiting for more than an hour but I did not have much breast milk to give," she said.

Like every other parent, she struggled with putting her newborn son to sleep, and even after doing so, could not catch a break before he woke up again.

It was impossible for her to sleep continuously for two hours, and her only respite was when her son had to be hospitalised for three days due to jaundice.

However, once he was discharged from the hospital, not only was she unable to supply enough breast milk for him, her cracked and bleeding nipples added to the difficulty.

"I was filled with fear whenever I had to breastfeed or shower," she confided in her post. "People who have never experienced cracked nipples before will never be able to understand how painful it is."

Her pain was compounded by the fact that she also wasn't able to sit down and eat a proper meal during those days as she dealt with haemorrhoids from delivering her baby.

"I remembered one day in the middle of the night, Aden was crying and I didn't know why. I was just really exhausted. I only recalled an image appearing in my head, one where I threw Aden against the wall, and it would all be over," Kate wrote. "I actually wanted to murder my child."

Kate went on to say that she let out a sharp scream afterward and broke down, uttering that she could not "take it anymore". Her sister then took Aden away while she was left crying in the room alone.

However, with her sister's support, in addition to calling other mothers and a breastfeeding support group for help, a month passed and Kate eventually managed to breastfeed smoothly and had a better grasp of Aden's needs. "I finally saw the light," she wrote.

While she managed to overcome this episode, she believes that there are many mothers who are still "trapped in pain" and feeling helpless or worse, that they're unable to pull through.

She urged the public to pay attention to postnatal depression and to take care of mothers around them, as distress signals may not come in the form of screams but also silence.

"I sincerely pray that every mother can enjoy the happiness a child brings. All the hardship experienced is just a small episode in life."

trining@asiaone.com

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