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In Albania, two women take on a nation with a rooftop wedding

In Albania, two women take on a nation with a rooftop wedding
Alba Ahmetaj, 44, kisses Edlira Mara, 43, on their way to their hairdresser, on the day of their wedding ceremony in Tirana, Albania, May 19, 2024. The couple's marriage is not acknowledged by the state, as Albanian law does not recognise same-sex civil unions, but for Alba and Edlira it was a real expression of love, a cry for equality. "There are two people in love ... and now they have finalised it with this beautiful ceremony," Edlira said after the wedding. "Society will never be ready ... What does this mean? That I cannot live?"
PHOTO: Reuters

TIRANA — In many ways Alba Ahmetaj and Edlira Mara lead an ordinary life. They brush their twin daughters' hair before school and play fight with them in their flat on weekend mornings. They have matching shoulder tattoos that mark their 14 years together.

But in their fight to be treated like other families, the lesbian couple did something extraordinary.

At dusk on Sunday, May 19, friends cheered as they stood out on the rooftop of the mayor's office in central Tirana, kissed, exchanged rings and got married.

Their marriage is not acknowledged by the state — Albanian law does not recognise same-sex civil unions. It has prompted outrage from the political right and the powerful religious community.

Edlira Mara, Alba Ahmetaj, 44, and their twin daughters get ready for their wedding ceremony, at the mayor's office in central Tirana, Albania, May 19, 2024. The couple's marriage is not acknowledged by the state, as Albanian law does not recognise same-sex civil unions, but for Alba and Edlira it was a real expression of love, a cry for equality. "There are two people in love ... and now they have finalised it with this beautiful ceremony," Edlira said after the wedding. "Society will never be ready... What does this mean? That I cannot live?"
PHOTO: Reuters

But for Alba and Edlira, it was a real expression of love, a cry for equality and, as far as they know, the first wedding of its kind in the Muslim-majority Balkan country.

"There are two people in love... and now they have finalised it with this beautiful ceremony," Edlira said after the wedding. "Society will never be ready... What does this mean? That I cannot live?"

While much of western Europe has made strides towards marriage equality, governments in much of the centre and east oppose change.

In Albania, religion was prohibited for half a century under communism. Today, the country is known for its tolerance among Muslims, Catholics and Orthodox Christians. These faiths are united in their opposition to same-sex marriage.

When plans for the couple's wedding became public, social media was flooded with thousands of threatening comments. Police officers guarded the building during the ceremony.

People hold a banner reading \"every colour, one family!\" during the annual Tirana Pride march, Albania, May 25, 2024. Albanian law does not recognise same-sex civil unions and, when Alba Ahmetaj, 44, and Edlira Mara, 43, got married, it prompted outrage from the political right and the religious community. "We are fighting against 90 percent of the population," Edlira said. "Both of us are changing a lot of things." 
PHOTO: Reuters

Two days later, opposition parties held a protest against the mayor over separate corruption allegations. But the speakers turned on Alba and Edlira too, accusing them of destroying family values.

The furore over the wedding was just the latest stage in what the couple say has been a long struggle to get the same rights as heterosexual couples.

When their daughters were born three years ago, the couple said they both wanted to be registered as parents, but that was not allowed under law. The children are registered under Edlira, the biological mother.

"Our society is very patriarchal and homophobic," Alba said before the wedding. "If you see comments on Facebook or Instagram... you will see how little tolerance we have as a nation."

Amid the struggle, the wedding became a bright spot. To prepare, the family blew up balloons in their apartment. On the evening of the ceremony, friends helped the couple into their big white wedding dresses.

Alba Ahmetaj, 44, Edlira Mara, 43, and their twin daughters have breakfast at their apartment, a day before their wedding ceremony in Tirana, Albania, May 18, 2024. When their daughters were born three years ago, the couple said they both wanted to be registered as parents, but that was not allowed under law, so the children are registered under Edlira who is the biological mother. "We are fighting against 90 percent of the population," she said. "Both of us are changing a lot of things.
PHOTO: Reuters

They walked, holding their daughters' hands, towards the altar through a crowd of friends who threw white rose petals. Around them were the sights of downtown Tirana and mountains beyond, covered in mist.

They were wed by two British pastors.

"We are fighting against 90 per cent of the population," Edlira said. "Both of us are changing a lot of things."

ALSO READ: Thai LGBT community start Pride Month ahead of marriage equality bill readings

Source: Reuters

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