Authoritative parenting key to raising confident and independent kids

For parents who are still unsure of which parenting style they should take with their child, authoritative parenting may be the most beneficial for kids. 

Children with authoritative parents tend to grow up more independent thanks to the guidance and reasonable standards given to them. 

“The child who has a parent with the more authoritative style tends to be more independent since they are given more choices as long as the end result is what the parent is asking for,” says licensed mental health counsellor Celia I. Mion-Araoz, as shared by Insider. 

Authoritative parenting

What is authoritative parenting?

One of the key parenting styles researchers have found is authoritative parenting. This approach allows parents to balance being strict with being supportive of their children. 

Authoritative parents set firm limits and expectations to their child but are still able to remain respectful to their choices. They are open to listening to their kid’s thoughts and opinions but will hold them accountable if they ever disobey their parents’ wishes.

Stephen Glicksman, a developmental psychologist, states the four dimensions of parenting – which this parenting style dominates in all – to understand more about this approach: 

• Control

With how parents try to control and influence every decision their kid makes, authoritative parenting sets limits as well as rules but at the same time are flexible when the situation becomes too much for their child. 

• Clarity

Communication is key in any relationship including with kids. That is why during discussions, authoritative parents are open to listening to their child’s thoughts and always explain their reasoning of how they approach problems. 

• Maturity demands

This dimension covers how parents would encourage or give pressure to their kids which also applies to this parenting style for how authoritative parents would lay out their expectations for their child’s life. 

• Nurturance

Children who are raised by an authoritative parent remain nurtured despite their parents’ expectations as they will still be supported whenever they make a mistake instead of being strictly punished. 

How it affects your child

With the nurturing and responsive approach of authoritative parenting, research has found that children raised with this parenting style have grown to happy, independent, self-controlled and more successful in their achievements. 

They become more trusting of their parents’ advice and are more likely to discuss their feelings with them. 

Glicksman adds that kids with authoritative parents “get along better with peers, and are generally able to better cope with life’s ups and downs.”

What makes authoritative parenting effective

Mion-Araoz says that the most important part of this parenting style is its consistency. 

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For parents who wish use this approach, you should set your expectations and limits with your child clearly and listen to what they have to say. Keep this up and you’ll find your child to grow up in success with better social skills. 

“We live in a world where authority is a part of everything we do, and your first sense of what authority comes from your parents, so you have to help children learn boundaries and structure but in a positive, healthy way,” says Mion-Araoz. 

But parents should also keep in mind that this does not automatically make it the ideal parenting style for your child. The best parenting style for your kid should be what suits them as every child is different and would thrive under different parenting styles.  

This article was first published in theAsianparent.