Do Singaporean men feel insecure if their wives earn more? YouTubers break down what a 'high value' man is

Men, how would you feel if your wife earned more than you? 

While some may assume that it's shameful and demoralising for a man to draw a lower salary than their partner, others beg to differ. 

In a podcast by The Daily Ketchup, hosts Daniel Lim, Jonathan Paul and Jared Alex Tan said they would be all right if their wives earned more than them. 

"We'd be more than happy with that," Daniel said. 

Jared even pointed out that his wife actually earns twice his salary, and this doesn't make him feel insecure. 

He also shared that his wife doesn't ask for "extravagant things", and he is able to afford the things that she wants. 

"We married each other for a reason. We are simple folk who just like simple things," he said. 

He did admit that sometimes, some of their expenditures hurt his wallet more than hers. 

For instance, their recent trip to Japan took a deeper hit on his bank account as compared to hers. 

So, how do they manage their finances as a married couple? 

Jared explained that while they share a joint account, they also separate their money for personal use, such as on their own hobbies. 

The money added to the joint account is also split evenly despite his wife drawing a higher salary than him. 

Since they were on the topic, the hosts also discussed if the ratio of money a couple puts into a joint account should be split 50:50 or based off a percentage. 

Daniel pointed out that this depends on the context. 

"For [my wife] and me, we earn about the same, so it makes sense for us [to put in the same amount of money]," he cited as as an example. 

On the other hand, Denise Oh said it should be a percentage up to a certain point. 

"For example, if [my partner and I] both put $500 a month into the joint account, $500 as a percentage of $3,000 versus a percentage of $6,000 is a big difference," she elaborated. 

"But say once I hit that $4,000 to $5,000 mark, where I think it's quite negligible, and most of these will go into my savings anyway, then I can afford to divide [the money] by numerical value." 

What defines a 'high value' man? 

When it comes to the definition of a 'high value' man, both sexes have fairly different takes. 

For the women, Alison Tan shared that in the past, she thought a 'high value' man should be someone with a stable job, lifestyle and family. 

But today, she feels it should be someone who is "aware of his [own] emotions", doesn't mind showing his feminine side and is supportive of women. 

Shermane Wong said that for her, it was a man with a provider mindset. 

And Denise shared that she thinks it should be a man who is confident but not arrogant. 

On the other hand, on the men's side, Jared said that a 'high value' man sounds like one who should be rich, handsome and in touch with his emotions. 

Jonathan gave a similar response and it's the "three usual criteria": Rich, handsome and healthy. 

But he also said that this can be split into two versions — one that is shaped by the media and is superficial, and one that is the value of the person. 

Daniel shared that he thinks it's the most that you can get for the man that you have.  

"For example, if [the man] is, maybe, not so good-looking, does he have other elements that make up for it?" he explained. 

He added that someone who is motivated in his career also makes a 'high value' man. 

But he also said that this has to go both ways. 

"You have to be good value for someone [in return]." 

They also shared that after watching various podcasts, their colleague and CEO Johnathan Chua defined a 'high value' man as someone who makes good money, takes care of his body, is confident of himself and doesn't date women who "have a high body count" (in other words, a woman who has slept with a lot of men). 

Apart from that, he feels that such men don't masturbate and watch porn either. 

In the comments, several netizens shared what their own definitions of a high value man is. 

Another said that a man should not define his worth solely off of what a woman or society wants. 

But one viewer also pointed out that more diverse profiles should have been used during the podcast so there could be a variety of views. 

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melissateo@asiaone.com