'I went through a suicidal phase': Influencer and former drug addict Simonboy opens up about past struggles and mistakes

Scroll through social media and there's every chance you'll come across influencer Simonboy's content.

Often bubbly and warm, it's hard to fathom that there was a time when he struggled to make it through the day.

During a recent chat on Jean Danker's podcast R U Okay?, posted on Wednesday (Oct 18), the former drug addict, whose real name is Simon Khung, opened up about his past in jail and how he navigated his addiction.

"I went through a suicidal phase for maybe one to two months. Every single day I was thinking of dying," he shared with Jean and psychologist Jeanie Chu.

It could be passing by an overhead bridge or simply being on a higher level of a tall building, these thoughts would seep into his brain.

At its core, Simon's struggles began after he dabbled in drugs at a young age of 16.

In 2015, he found himself in prison for the first time.

Behind bars

Simon assaulted a person while under the influence of drugs and this led to his first incarceration.

He calmly shared that most people are likely to "have a demon inside" of them. When one is high on drugs, this temper becomes extremely difficult to control.

"I assaulted a victim and it was one of my biggest regrets in life, to be honest," Simon admitted.

Not only was the victim's injury "pretty bad", this single action had him behind bars for the good part of a year.

In 2016, he was released from jail but his relationship with prisons didn't end until a few years later.

"I hate this drug so much but yet I'm so addicted. Every single time I take, I'll feel very, very depressed," he said.

After hearing Simon speak on his story with drugs, Jeanie was interested to find out what made him turn to drugs in the first place.

Simon shared he left school at 16 and admitted he was immature back then.

He knew that there'd be a two-year gap before his enlistment into national service and curiosity got the better of him.

"To me, all the drugs is the same. There was no soft drugs [or] or hard drugs. The moment I tried, I fell all the way spiraling down," he recalled.

It wasn't until Simon was in his mid-twenties did he realise how dependent he was on drugs.

By then, it became a challenge that seemed insurmountable. 

"The moment I tried to quit, I couldn't make it already," Simon added.

Support and trust

Having gone through a suicidal phase, Simon entered a halfway house with a "broken soul".

But the support system provided helped him through his journey dealing with addiction. Simon admitted that as the months go by, he was starting to recover mentally.

After two years at the halfway house, he was out. 

First thing on his agenda was to download all the dating apps. Simon admitting this fact brought a giggle to his two listeners.

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In fact, the third person he met through a dating app is his current girlfriend.

This was pre-content creator Simon, back when he was still doing food delivery and his bank account had a total of $50.

But back then, he had an idea and his only promise to his partner was to work hard if given the opportunity.

Simon's girlfriend proved instrumental in the birth of his first business, clothing apparel Chance.

He had no capital to start the business, but she had no qualms with lending him some money.

She also told him there was no need for him to return the money should the business fail.

"It sounds like support is important to you and what you're receiving from your girlfriend is unconditional support," Jeanie said.

Thankfully for Simon, his business proved an immediate success.

Merchandise was sold out within 12 hours and the $2,000 earned was the first time he ever had money in his bank.

And the rest as they say, is history.

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amierul@asiaone.com

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