PUBLISHED ONDecember 05, 2023 4:00 AMByClaudia TanAlthough Jacob Lim, 41, and Mohammed Hairul, 39 have served their time behind bars, memories of incarceration are still ingrained in their minds.
Speaking to AsiaOne about their experience behind bars for drug-related crimes, both men agreed that the death penalty functions as a deterrent — even when they were engaged in drug-related activities.
Jacob, who is now a pastor at a Methodist church, said: “I tried to find ways to stay below the limit, just to not get myself into that situation.”
He told AsiaOne that he was incarcerated multiple times in his younger days, and served his last sentence from 2006 to 2010 for trafficking, consumption and possession of controlled drugs.
In Singapore, the death penalty is imposed when the offender is found to be carrying over the threshold limit for different types of drugs.
For Hairul, he realised the severity of his actions while he was incarcerated from 2011 to 2019 for drug offences.
“I was sent directly to A1, it’s a single-man cell. It’s not a good place to be because your environment is filled with people who are serving life sentences.”
“I realised I might be [sentenced to capital punishment]. This is the end of my road, I will not be seeing any more grass outside; I will not be taking any more buses other than the Black Maria.”
He continued: “I started imagining things, what does the rope feel like? How thick is the rope, what would it be like inside the cell of a condemned man?”
Hairul recalled that his friend had asked him to help pass on a message: “Can you tell all my friends to forgive me for what I have done? I’m not a perfect person.”
“So I was thinking, I could have been at the same spot… But I was given the opportunity to stop my nonsense.
“It was a very big wake up call for me, even till today. That was seven years ago, but his voice is still tattooed inside my head.”
Drug use more 'rampant' without death penalty
Having almost brushed shoulders with capital punishment, Hairul, now a freelance content creator, still thinks that the death penalty is an effective deterrent.
Without the deterrent, it would be worse for our community, and there will be a lot of traffickers walking around.”
“I would say yes, it’s a deterrent, especially for repeat offenders.
Jacob echoed a similar view, and pointed out: “When the deterrent is removed, the consideration whether to do [traffic drugs] or not is no longer a consideration, you can just do it.”
“That would cause an issue, and drug use may be a bit more rampant.”
To illustrate the impact of drugs on society, Hairul brought up an example. “Imagine, one kilogram of methamphetamine, distributed and sold out in four days — how much [would] that destroy the community?”
When asked about whether the death penalty is “fair”, Jacob acknowledged that offenders have different circumstances which ultimately lead them towards drugs, he still feels that the “law is a law”.
“The law is meant to govern a society or even an individual, and it’s non-subjective, non-bias. So if we take a step back and remove the subjective stories and look objectively at just the law, and if it can [function] as a deterrent, then I don’t think it’s unfair, because you know what is written.”
'My whole life was wasted': Hairul
Even though Hairul and Jacob were fortunate enough to avoid the gallows, both men still served time behind bars — which cost them in other ways.
For Hairul, he’s one step behind his peers when it comes to starting a family. “Most of my friends are married and have children. But I have nothing. My whole life was wasted just like that.”
As someone who is active on social media, Hairul also has to deal with disparaging remarks from naysayers.
Some comments he’s received include things like “Just go back to jail, give up your life, you're approaching 40, you don’t even have a house.”
Although their words aren’t pleasant, Hairul has chosen to let these comments propel him into doing better for himself.
“Oh I don’t have a house, that means I need to work [hard] to be able to buy a house for myself.”
In Jacob’s case, despite becoming a pastor and serving in his church community, he had to overcome being stigmatised by some members in his congregation.
He recalled sharing his story in church two years after his release from prison. “There was this elderly lady who was very good to me, she treated me like a son. But after I shared my story, she gave me an awkward smile after the service and walked away. It was quite hurtful."
He’s also been rejected for several jobs. Still, he chooses to take it in his stride, saying that he was not angry with them for rejecting him due to his background.
Looking back
Although both Hairul and Jacob have managed to steer clear of drugs after their release from prison, they revealed that temptation still comes knocking every once in a while.
“I used to be a smoker before taking drugs, and today there are still cravings and temptation. But to counter these thoughts I will exercise, or play some video games on my phone.”
Besides diverting his attention to other activities, Hairul says that looking at his past social media content about gangsterism and drug activities also reminds him of how he doesn’t want to go back to the past.
“I look back at my videos, and I wouldn’t want to be that person again. In a sense I use my social media to help me stay grounded.”
Being a pastor, Jacob’s motivations to stay on the right track involve the people that he helps in his church community. “There are children’s lives that I can impact. So I choose to impact their lives, and that kept me going.”
Ending the interview, both men were asked what they would say to their younger selves if they could do it all over again.
“I would use a lot of vulgarities on my younger self and hope he wakes up,” Hairul said candidly.
“You may not know what you want to do with your life, but the future has unlimited potential. Don’t make any mistakes that will curtail these opportunities,” said Jacob.
READ ALSO: 'Pain in your bones and joints': Former drug addict shares what it's like to go through withdrawal
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