PUBLISHED ONAugust 22, 2024 9:00 AMByChing Shi JieUniversity student Phoebe Wee has come to terms with the inevitability of death through volunteering at Assisi Hospice over the past four years.
The 20-year-old has seen a fair share of deaths — many of the patients at the hospice's day care centre have a prognosis of one year or less.
"It really never gets easier," Wee said in an interview with AsiaOne. "It still hits me hard when I hear that a patient has left."
Among those patients was Patrick Perera, who died in July 2023. Wee remembered him as a "cheerful guy" who charmed everyone in the hospice with his singing.
The hospice volunteer also bonded with his wife Manelle, 83, through their mutual love of handicraft.
"Both of them were in the hospice together," Wee said about the couple who were married for over 50 years.
"You could see the love and respect they had for each other. It was a joy to be around them."
As his health declined, Wee visited him several times in the hospital, and also checked in on his wife regularly to "make sure she was okay".
"I think it meant a lot to her," said the volunteer.
"That made me realise that actions we perceive as small actually makes a lot of difference to the patients."
Life, death, and love
In 2017, Wee's grandfather was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer.
The discussions of hospice care then piqued the young woman's curiosity about palliative care in Singapore.
Starting out with "ad-hoc activities" at a day care centre, Wee began volunteering with Assisi Hospice in 2020 after she decided to be more proactive with her volunteering work.
Besides interacting with patients at the hospice's day care, she also helps to transport them from their homes.
Faced with a packed schedule, Wee admitted that she struggled to find time to volunteer at the hospice after entering university.
"Instead of finding time to come down to volunteer, I have to make time for it," she said, adding that she now tries to help out at the hospice at least twice a month.
Wee finds joy in the smallest interactions with the patients — such as greeting them "good morning" — and the gratitude they show her.
That is "more than enough" to justify the time and effort she has spent at the hospice.
"Talking to the patients is not a chore, but rather a privilege that I'm lucky to be able to do," said Wee. "And I leave with my heart so much fuller."
While Wee still grapples with the emotional struggle of caring for patients at the end of life, she finds volunteering at the hospice "so worth it".
"They have taught me so much about life and death," she said. "And about love."
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