"I recently ended my relationship with my ex, Michael*, because he didn't measure up when it came to penis size. I know that sounds terrible and my friends have called me shallow and picky for wanting to be with someone who's well endowed, but let me explain.

Sex to me is one of the most important things in life. I do believe it's a barometer for the health of a relationship.

If the sex is lousy, you can be sure that the two partners in question aren't right for each other and probably won't go the distance together; if the sex is satisfying then chances are that they're both happy and their relationship is healthy.

That's why I feel that penis size is such a big deal - pardon the pun. If I can't feel a man inside me, then the sex, in a word, sucks.

I also enjoy giving oral sex, and if a man doesn't have a sizeable package then I typically wouldn't enjoy performing oral sex on him.

Measuring up

I can't fault Michael in other areas. He was the type of boyfriend many girls dream about.

He had a great personality and a kind, caring heart, was serious about his career and earned good money, plus, he knew how to spoil his partner.

He was also handsome, educated, came from a good family and drove a nice car to boot.

Unlike previous boyfriends, I took my time getting physically intimate with Michael because I wanted it to feel special.

When we finally made love - about two months into our relationship - I was shocked to discover that he had a small member.

I wasn't expecting it to be super long or thick, but it wasn't even the length of my ring finger when erect, and that bothered me; I'd had some pretty well-endowed partners in the past and I was shocked when my hands found Michael's penis.

While Michael did everything right in bed that night, I couldn't climax because I could barely feel him when he penetrated me.

I left his house the next morning feeling disappointed and disillusioned. He was perfect in every other way, so why did he have to have a small penis.

I did think I was horrible for feeling the way I did, but I decided to give Michael a chance because I was starting to fall in love with him.

For the next few months we continued to have sex about once or twice a week, but each time he entered me I felt like I was punishing myself.

I love the woman-on-top and doggy-style positions but I couldn't do those with Michael. And giving him oral sex didn't excite me in the least.

All in all, our lovemaking sessions left very little to be desired. I know it's strange that I continued having sex with Michael for so long - my friends believe that it was wrong of me to have led him on all those months - but I somehow convinced myself that I would eventually come to accept the size of his penis.

I told myself that he was my ideal guy in every other sense, so at some point, I might start to enjoy having sex with him.

Looking for the perfect package

When I ended things with Michael, I didn't bring up the size of his penis. I didn't have to.

In the weeks leading up to our break up, I began feeling quite emotionally detached from him and didn't know what to say or how to act when we were together. I also started refusing sex.

Michael noticed that something was wrong and accused me of being 'cold and distant'. He also began picking fights with me whenever I couldn't give him an answer as to what was wrong.

In the end, we both grew resentful of each other and I stopped feeling attracted to him.

When I realised that there was no way things could work out I told him that we were incompatible and were better off being apart. By then, he'd become so fed-up with me that I think he was happy to see me walk out of his life.

I did consider going for counselling with Michael, but that would have meant telling him the truth about what I thought about his penis and our sex life, and I didn't want to hurt his feelings.

I even searched for other sex positions we could try that might be more fulfilling for me, but they all seemed too awkward or difficult.

In the end, I truly believe that if a guy doesn't have a big enough package then it doesn't matter what position you try or how much counselling you have.

I'm still looking for a man who checks all the boxes for me. I'm not ashamed to admit that I need, want and love a man who has a big penis and knows how to turn me on with it.

The perfect size for me is anything between six and seven inches. I also like penises that are thick and somewhat fleshy. I have no idea if such a guy even exists who's also loving, committed and has his life together, but sex is so important to me that package size isn't something I am willing to compromise on.

*Names have been changed  

This article was first published in Her World Online.