When pupils graduate from primary schools, they leave behind some friends and familiar faces and carry with them memories of years spend playing, studying and bonding.

For Zane (not his real name) that was not the case. He was alone.

In Primary 4 and 6, his classmates labelled him a "black sheep", spreading negativity about him on social media platforms like X, formerly known as Twitter, and WhatsApp.

In school, some bullies even extorted money from Zane, pushing him down a staircase when he attempted to stand up for himself.

He tried reaching out to parents and teachers for assistance, but either they brushed it off or did not believe him.

"I was just there, alone," Zane told SG Her Empowerment (SHE), adding that he would cry and suppress his emotions.

SHE, an independent non-profit organisation that strives to empower girls and women, also has an online harms support centre SHECares@SCWO that aims to provide assistance to victims of online harm.

Zane was distraught and unaware of what was happening at the time, he said.

"From then on, I didn't really attach myself to anyone."

The four 'recurring fractures' of online harms

Zane, now 22, was one of the 25 people between age 18 and 45 interviewed by SHE on the toll on survivors of online harms. The study was published on Thursday (May 29).

The study, which took place in October 2024, saw survivors reporting that they have faced at least one among the following: image-based sexual assault, online sexual harassment, cyberbullying and harassment, cancel campaigns and impersonation.

These experiences have led to four "recurring fractures" in how survivors are harmed and how they seek help, according to SHE.

Survivors tend to suffer lasting psychological effects, such as panic attacks, anxiety and even suicidal ideation, the study said.

They also struggle to find a platform to express their concerns, or simply find the process of reporting to authorities too intimidating, SHE said.

Anonymity is also an issue — bullies and perpetrators cannot be easily identified, and survivors may struggle to find a way to resolve their circumstances.

Some may even bear the brunt of the blame despite being a victim, according to SHE, especially for cases of sexual harassment.

"These aren't just harms happening behind screens… It's real harm to real people, and it's complex and evolving," SHE research director Natalie Chia said on Thursday.

'We need a whole-of-society effort'

Chia, along with SHE, have called for urgent reforms to help survivors of online harms.

Survivors should regain agency through clear, accessible support options that they can follow step-by-step without requiring authorities to step in, according to SHE.

Social media platforms should be made to respond in a "timely and transparent manner" to cases of online harm, with transparent processes, faster content removal and consequences of repeat offenders.

The veil of anonymity also needs to go, as survivors shared that perpetrators used anonymous or throwaway accounts to attack them.

SHE chairperson Stefanie Yuen Thio also shared that survivors of online harms are left "feeling traumatised and frustrated by a lack of agency… we need a whole-of-society effort".

"That means each of us must rethink what we consider 'normal' online behaviour," Yuen said.

"If we don't challenge these norms now, online harms won't just be normalised — they'll be entrenched."

First steps to healing

Zane's torment did not end with his primary school graduation.

During his time in polytechnic, he was doxxed on Twitter because of a misunderstanding he had with the perpetrator, causing him to have a post-traumatic reaction.

He had a friend who supported him at the time, helping him to resolve the situation, but pressures resurfaced when he began National Service.

"(In) army... I had a few flashbacks... panic attacks... even though (what happened had) no relation to my primary school incident... the memory just flooded back in," he explained in an interview with SHE.

He sought a psychiatrist's help during his time in the army, where he was told he had been bottling up his emotions, causing them to come out in ways he could not control.

This all stemmed from the bullying he experienced as a child in primary school, the psychiatrist told him.

"She (said) that...for a kid to undergo through that experience, (it was) traumatic for (me) to just bottle it up," Zane recalled.

He has understood the importance of confiding with a person he trusts, and has found that person in a friend who he has known for 10 years.

Zane also shared his thoughts on his experience, commenting that we may tend to be more conservative in an Asian society.

"(Online harms) really can affect like our lives as a whole," he told AsiaOne.

"To you, it may be a small thing, but to me, it might be my whole life… try to understand the victim's perspective. Hear them out."

He hopes that he can open up to his friends and family in the future, although more so to his friends for now.

Zane added: "Because honestly, I'm kind of starting the healing process now — just recently."

SHE's online harms support centre, SHECares@SCWO, is contactable via phone at 8001-01-4616 or via WhatsApp at 6571 4400.

khooyihang@asiaone.com

For more original AsiaOne articles, visit here.